It seems to me that Shane and Carmen — or should I say Katherine and Sarah? I don't know anymore — each have something that the other wants — badly. If you don't believe me, just watch them closely.
It's in the kiss.
Say what you will about the many benefits of grinding, sucking and licking beautiful women, you'll get no arguments from me. But if it's intimacy you're looking for — on-screen or in your own life — you'll find it in the kiss. If it's not there, it's not anywhere.
I've written before about the anatomy of a great kiss between women in an essay I called “Savoring the Smooch.” After having kissed my share of frogs and princesses, I came to the conclusion that women are superb kissers — far superior to men, because intimacy doesn't scare the hell out of us. It matters not if a woman is a lesbian or if she's straight, mind you. Her mastery appears to me to be a result of gender not sexuality:
“Women kiss other women like we mean it – honey-tongued and with respect. When women kiss, we kiss. We don't think about what our penis would rather be doing…[Many men] miss out on what's happening in the moment – the seduction, the eroticism and the privilege of the kiss eludes them…A woman knows her mouth is more than a penis garage.”
When Moennig and Shahi kiss, they mean it. I have no doubt. Whether they're lesbians or two straight women who enjoy kissing one another simply because they're both so damn good at it remains to be proven, but I will say that with each Carmen/Shane kiss I become less convinced of Katherine and Sarah's heterosexuality.
At the risk of sounding like Moses at a lesbian sex retreat, I feel their desire in my loins. Every time I watch their scenes, I want to scream, “Behold their mighty hands!” And, to be extremely honest, I find my reaction a bit odd, because Moennig, like so many actresses on TV today, reminds me of the malnourished children that Catholic relief funds are made of. Every time she takes off her shirt, a voice in my head that sounds very much like Sally Struthers says, “Won't you please, please help?” Something tells me that I could feed Moennig for thirty-nine cents a day.
Yet, I think she's sexy in the way that androgynous women are. She's not lush, but she evokes curiosity. Her large eyes draw me in, her smile teases, and her movements are easy and inviting. She's not extremely sensuous and she lacks curves, but she's charming and delightfully mysterious.
Couple Moennig's allure with Shahi's sizzle, and you've got a recipe for some mighty fine and extremely realistic lesbian lovin'. And there's nothing wrong with that!
So, I can wonder all day long who's a real lesbian and who's not, but the most important question, I suppose, is this: Does it matter?
In the big picture, the answer is, of course, no. As a lesbian, I have plenty of other issues to be concerned with these days. But, the sad fact is, in the world of escapist lesbian TV, The L Word is, at least for now, all I've got. So if it turns out that some of the actresses who play lesbians on TV are actual lesbians, it thickens the plot and gives me even more reasons to watch. And I hate to say this, but I need more reasons this season.
I need something to distract me from “attached” lesbian parents, mannies, stalking exes, that dreadful Jenny, and from wondering how a woman pees standing up without smelling like a wet diaper the rest of the day. And Carmen and Shane are it.
So, let the tongues slip and the rumors fly. Let art imitate life imitating lesbians imitating life, and let it all blur…but pray Carmen always remains in focus.
My bad?
Kim Ficera is the author of Sex, Lies and Stereotypes: An Unonventional Life Uncensored. Her bi-weekly column Don't Quote Me is dedicated to all the folks in and out of Hollywood who talk without thinking or who don't know when to stop talking. Email her at kim@kimficera.com .
Page 1 / 2 - Home
