(Read our review of the film here)

THAT'S 5 MILLION MORE PEOPLE THAN WILL SEE THE ACTUAL MOVIE
I didn't think it was possible for Ellen's talk show to get any more viewers, but in the week ending December 18th, The Ellen DeGeneres Show enjoyed its best ratings week ever, with over 5 million viewers in one day. The spike was attributed to a visit from The Producers stars Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick and Will Ferrell, but I think it was due to the new opening sequence, which has Ellen and Portia making out on stage while DJ Tony plays Ashlee Simpson's "La La". Oh no, wait: they're saving that for February Sweeps. My bad.

LESBIANS ON MARS
E! Online's Kristin revealed this week that in an episode of the UPN drama Veronica Mars taping this week and airing in February, Kristin Cavalleri of Laguna Beach guest stars as a closeted lesbian cheerleader who turns to Veronica when a blackmailer threatens to out her and a number of other gay students at Neptune High.

I'm loving the idea of lesbians on Veronica Mars (an excellent show you must check out, if you haven't yet), but have you noticed how a decade or two ago in American pop culture, all lesbians were militant, masculine dykes or sad loners, and now we're all popular cheerleaders and apple-pie moms? We do so love to traffic in extremes. Although that's not really new to the human condition: the famous 19th century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, no doubt complaining about the extreme stereotypes of philosophers paraded on TV during his time, said, "Extreme positions are not succeeded by moderate ones, but by contrary extreme positions."

Of course, Nietzsche also said, "If a woman possesses manly virtues one should run away from her," so really, what did that sad loner know anyway?

LIKE WE DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING A MILE AWAY
Speaking of extremes, Christian anti-gay organization the American Family Association is protesting NBC's Book of Daniel (debuting January 6th) for its depiction of a dysfunctional Christian family, which includes a gay Republican and a secretary having a lesbian affair. The AFA is telling their members to email NBC requesting they don't air the show, because, says AFA president Don Wildmon, "it would be beneficial to all if NBC showed a little more respect for Christians who believe the Bible."

Meanwhile, I'm asking AfterEllen.com members to write to God and ask Him/Her to stop letting the AFA use the word "Christian", because it would be beneficial to all if these hate-mongers didn't keep hijacking the religion. And while you're at it, ask God to send me a video iPod, just in case S/He's in a giving mood.

That's it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new installment of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. or read past installments of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.