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Just the other day, one of Narcissist Man’s sympathizers, Ann “Potty Mouth” Coulter, used a common trick to hijack the Amendment for diabolical purposes! After making an insulting comment about homosexuals at a large Metrosexopolis university, she claimed she was making a joke.

A joke? Obviously not, because Obvious Woman isn’t laughing!

Obvious Woman recognizes the obvious ploy! She’s seen it used before. Coulter is just one of many who use our freedoms to make an injurious remark and then claim it was a joke, claim they didn’t say it, insist that it was taken out of context, or apologize for it.

“Shame! Shame on them!” Obvious Woman cries to Obvious Cat, the indifferent but faithful companion she has for obvious reasons. “The First Amendment allows Americans to be offensive — in the name of God or anyone else — but it does not require us to be offensive!”

“The Amendment allows for the free exchange of ideas and information!” Obvious Woman shouts. “Must the words “Be responsible, stupid!” be attached to the amendment for Narcissist Man and his ninnies to get it? Responsibility and integrity go hand in hand with the first amendment and should be evident in a speech, not fetched up and cultivated after. We must stop these thugs from warping our freedoms!”

Obvious Cat retreats to his litter box in an act of obvious agreement.

But there are so many — too many — Others!

Even if Obvious Woman is able to stop Narcissist Man, will she be able to stop the Others, who are slowly poisoning the public airwaves with malicious drivel?

Obvious woman turns on her radio.  It’s Narcissist Man!

“The homosexual activist movement and organized pedophiles are linked together by a common goal: To gain access to children for seduction into homosexuality…”

“Oh, no!” she cries. “Imbecile!”

She changes the station. “The gays and lesbians of Metrosexopolis are sick!” declares one of the Others. “They are contaminating our children and redecorating our homes. Color attracts Satan! Curb appeal invites the Devil into your home! The Tooth Fairy is gay and the Sandman is a lesbian pedophile! Our country is at the mercy of God, who will destroy us all with floods, earthquakes, droughts and disease if Will & Grace is not cancelled. This Christmas, do not fall into the trap of buying gay toys or antique poster beds with canopies. And if a salesclerk says to you, “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” shoot her!”

Obvious Woman gasps. It’s much worse than she thought. It’s obvious that Narcissist Man has perfected and released his latest weapon — Stupid Ass Gas! It’s only a matter of time before all of Metrosexopolis is infected!

She changes the channel again, and the voice of Howard Stern hits her like a ton of bricks piled atop an anvil and wrapped in a box labeled, “Double Standard, Fool”.

“Obviously! she cries.

Stern’s language is no more offensive to her than Narcissist Man’s, yet Stern’s been fined by the FCC countless times for violating decency standards. He was even fined for defining on air a word he made up — “Blumpkin.”  No one’s fined Narcissist Man for saying that “gay activists” (real words) are conspiring with “organized pedophiles” (more real words) to “gain access to children” (very real words)!

“Fiendish double dealer!

Obvious Woman logs on to the FCC Web site and discovers that the FCC defines profanity as “including language so grossly offensive to members of the public who actually hear it as to amount to a nuisance.”

Obvious Woman is grossly offended! She thinks it’s very much a nuisance that every time she turns on the news someone is calling her pedophile!

“Narcissist Man is profane!” she bellows. “It’s so-o-o-o fucking obvious!!!”