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We all make choices each and every day regarding our sexual behavior and the image we want to project in regard to it. We choose to come out, we choose to stay in, we choose to ignore, we choose to try to change, and the list goes on. Why is it ridiculous to think that some of us can choose our sexuality?

The political climate now practically begs us to ask, Why do we resist the idea of choice so strongly? Why do we reject the opportunity — the privilege — to be responsible for who and what we are?

If we, as a community, said to the Christian right today, “Yes, we choose to be gay!” What would happen? If we said, “We choose this life over one that others want to force on us, over one that’s less comfortable for us. We choose to love our partners and build families together in the face of great opposition, not only because some of us believe we were born gay, but because we all have free will and the right to love whomever we want,” what would the downside be?

The only reason the “gay is a choice” argument works for the Christian right is because they believe homosexuality is a sin and therefore are able to argue that gay people choose sin over righteousness. Bad, bad gay people! Evildoers!

The Christian right believes this as a result of faith, not because it’s been scientifically proven to be true. You don’t have to be a theologian or a philosopher to understand that there is a huge difference between belief and knowledge. I think we all know that God and his plan are mysteries, even to Christians. Yet Christians continue to buy into the notion that they have cornered the market on God.

Perhaps it’s time we stop letting them profit off of us in their marketplace.

By running from the “gay is a choice” idea, is the gay community doing itself a disservice? If we took the religious right’s number one argument away from them, would it not make us stronger while weakening their position?

Taking the position that we can’t choose to be gay is actually quite a negative one for us hold, politically and personally, and it’s one that’s not forward thinking. While it affords us the opportunity to say, “God made us this way,” it also robs us of our integrity, a chance to own ourselves.

We’re all going to be sinful in the eyes of the religious right regardless of whether or not we’re born gay. If a gay gene is discovered, the religious right is not suddenly going to say, “Oh, okay, you’re born gay. We’ve been wrong all along. We’re very sorry.”

If we want to show the world that being gay isn’t a horrible thing, then let’s stop saying that we can’t help it.

Now, I know that most gays and lesbians don’t see homosexuality as a defect; we see it as a result of a prenatal lottery, similar to being born with blue eyes, for example. But if you think for one minute that if and when a gay gene is discovered, the religious right won’t rewrite their talking points and call homosexuality a birth defect, I believe you’re mistaken. So, what’s wrong with calling their bluff now?

What are we so afraid of that Sheryl Swoopes isn’t?

We look at Swoopes’ self-outing and see a brave lesbian who has forced us to again acknowledge the pink elephants on professional playing fields — all those gay men and women running up and down stadium fields and courts pretending to be straight — and hope that she’ll inspire those athletes to follow her lead. B

ut will we also see her story as one of a Christian, lesbian athlete who, out of nowhere on an October day, turned a philosophy on its head and placed a spotlight on a pink elephant within the gay community — the one carrying a banner that says, “Love and free will are stronger than biology”?

The choice is ours.

Kim Ficera is the author of Sex, Lies and Stereotypes: An Unconventional Life Uncensored. Her bi-weekly column Don't Quote Me is dedicated to all the folks in and out of Hollywood who talk without thinking or who don't know when to stop talking. Email her at kim@kimficera.com.