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In my mind, making the “choice” to be gay is not the same as coming out. I chose to come out years before, in 1976, but prior to that, I chose to accept God’s gift to me and be true to myself.

The way I see it, coming out is a result of being gay, an announcement some people make after they have already accepted the fact that they’re gay; being gay isn’t a result of coming out, nor does gayness occur simultaneously with the act of coming out.

Granted, Swoopes and I aren’t exactly on the same page. She, unlike me, doesn’t feel that she got a jump-start from God. But does it matter how she came to choose to be gay?

The answer depends on who you ask.

When I first explored this issue in print five years ago, I found a few people who were willing to have conversations with me about the choice vs. biology issue, and the discussions were often heated.

The “Pro-Choice” gay people I spoke to —  Frank Aqueno, a writer and the leader of the Queer By Choice Network, a small group of people who strongly believe their decision to be gay was made consciously, and Gayle Madwin, a member of that Network —  were frustrated and clearly fighting an uphill battle then. A quick search on Google for their names and organizations today reveal that they’ve accomplished little since.

The “Born Gay” queers (read: every major gay organization on Earth) believe that their opponents’ arguments are weak and damaging, especially to young people struggling to come out of the closet. They say you can’t choose who you fall in love with, you can’t choose a feeling; you can only choose your behaviors with respect to a feeling.

Meanwhile, the Christian Right takes the position that homosexuality is not only a choice, but also a sin. Therefore anyone who chooses to be gay chooses to defy God’s law, and can and should choose to change.

The debate was food for thought then — interesting, but not many took it seriously. But because the gay community is maturing and more diverse today than ever, and since the religious right is gaining power and momentum at warp speed, I think it’s time to revisit the idea and consider that it might be potent enough to change the shape of the future.

Is a person who is born gay, but who doesn’t act on his homosexual urges, gay? According to a lot of homosexuals, the answer is yes — once gay, always gay. If you ask the religious right, the answer is no, at least not technically, because gay people can be led out of the sinful lifestyle by Christ.

Is a person who claims to have been born straight, but who chooses to behave in a gay way, gay? In my opinion, the answer is no, because gay behavior isn’t enough. In fact, that exact behavior is what I bitch a lot about in this column.

However, if that person behaves gay and eventually chooses to be gay — not just when drunk or entertaining straight men, for example, but as a way of life — then he or she is no longer just acting or behaving like a gay person, he or she is a gay person. Why? Because that person said so.

If an individual can’t declare himself gay, then who can?

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