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Jackie tells us in a voiceover, while we look at a montage of her baby pictures, that she was 21 when she came out to her mother. Yes America, cute little tow-headed cherubs can grow up to be big ol' lesbians. Then Mom says, “Even though I had suspected Jackie might be gay, to hear it is a different story. I'm sure there are some parents that just say ‘Oh well, so OK,' but for me, it was really devastating.”

Mom acknowledges, “Jackie and I are so much alike in many ways. We've both been through a lot, we both know what we stand for, and we're both strong women.” It's a nice sentiment, except for the whole I'm-righteous-and-you're-going-to-hell thing.

After arriving at the house, Jackie shows off the picture Mimi painted of her from last week's episode, saying, “Mimi painted this for me.” Mom sniffs, “She never gets the likeness right,” as if she's seen a dozen versions. Just how many portraits of Jackie has Mimi done?

Jackie looks a little dejected, but says, “Well, don't say that to her-- she gets very sensitive about her artwork. She'll disown us both.” Don't go giving your mom any bright ideas, now.

Lounging in her spacious living room, Jackie tells her mother about going to see a doctor. “I go to meet with the doctor on Friday to finally find out ...”

Mom interrupts, “You're not going to have a sex change, are you?” Yeah, lady, that's what all us gay people do, as soon as we can afford it.

Jackie informs her, “I'm going to a doctor, actually, to talk about the real possibility of freezing my eggs.” You can see at this point why Jackie has the patience to deal with Mimi. She's been honing it her whole frigging life.

About Mimi, Jackie says, “If we could resolve some serious issues, I would probably have her move in, and the next step is probably having kids.”

Mom says, “Oh, let's not go down that path.” I have to agree with Mom at this point, but I wouldn't be as concerned about gay parenting as I would be about Mimi parenting.
Jackie wants her mom to go with her to the doctor's office, to which she agrees.

The next day we're back at the gym, and Tess is on the dread-mill. “My ears are buzzing,” she gasps. She looks genuinely scared. Jackie assures her it's all normal. Tess promptly runs to the bathroom and pukes. “You lost some weight already!” Jackie says cheerily. Tess says in defeat, “I don't know if I can come back tomorrow.”

Later, at Jackie's house, trainer Jesse is cooking for the Guess Who's Coming to Dinner party. In addition to being a top personal trainer and Jackie's pet, he's also a cooking school graduate. Tonight's menu features oven-roasted halibut. “I love my seafood,” Jackie says, loitering around the kitchen. Jesse swings open the door to the stainless steel fridge. It's packed with food. Did anyone call the food bank yet?

“Is this what you're wearing?” Jackie asks, eyeing Jesse's old T-shirt. “OK, don't kill me. You know how I'm always meddling in other people's business?” She's planning on hooking Jesse up with a single guy friend. There's another little Jackie bomb. Gay men love it when you spring blind dates on them and they're wearing an old T-shirt and slaving over a hot stove. “Thanks for all the notice,” says Jesse.

Ding dong. A woman named Erin and her fiancé walk in; Erin is Jackie's best friend, we're told. Erin's wearing that same necklace all the trainers and clients wear at the gym. I'm seriously starting to wonder what kind of cult this is. Next to arrive is James, the single guy Jesse's supposed to meet. He too, is wearing the necklace. Jackie brings him straight into the kitchen and does the introductions. James must be really jazzed to meet Jesse because his man nipples are sticking straight out of his baby-blue shirt. After some awkward chitchat, Jesse says, “Stop being a distraction to me!” and pushes Nipples out of the kitchen.

Finally, Mimi arrives, chewing gum with her mouth open. Charming. There are hellos all around, except between Mimi and Jackie's mom. After there's absolutely no one left to say hi to, they're forced to greet each other with a tense hug and a phony “How are you?”

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