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Later that night, Fifi and Jackie go out to dinner, to discuss all the ways Jackie sucks as a girlfriend. Jackie may be level-headed, patient, attentive, communicative, successful, and have money, looks, and abs like a cobblestone street, but really, I don't know how Fifi puts up with her. Honestly, it's almost criminal.

Mimi, complains, “You didn't tell me you were going on the retreat with the trainers, it's like you're hiding from me.” Jackie says, “I've got nothing to hide, it's not a weekend get-away with my friends, or a girl. It's work.” Actually, the retreat sounds exactly like a weekend get-away compared to this. It's Mimi that's work.

Jackie's voiceover: “I'm working so hard, not just for me but for us. She wants certain things. She wants to get married, have a great house and not have to work, she wants kids…” A real renaissance woman, our Fifi.

In the restaurant, Jackie's still trying to be rational, “You're just screaming at me, screaming, screaming, screaming in my face. You don't hear me.” Of course she can't hear you, not over the voices in her head. Fifi sits with her arms crossed. On a close up, I can see she's clearly missing half of her right eyebrow, no doubt lost in a fight with a woman who blatantly hit on Jackie when she said, “Can I get you a drink?” Unfortunately, it was a bartender.

All we need are some violins when Jackie says, “If my life is part of your life, and you want to be part of it, as you say you do, you have to know I'm building a future. If you don't want to build that together, then I don't want to waste my time anymore. You have to believe in me.”

And finally, for the first time, Half Brow backs down. “Sorry.” What? I can't hear you. “Sorry,” she says again as Jackie smiles and leans in. They kiss. And Half Brow opens her jaws wide to bite Jackie's face. Love is grand.

The next day, Jackie's working with actor Anthony Quinn's son, Alex. One of his upcoming roles is Elvis. If he'd just play Old Elvis, he wouldn't have to work out.

Meanwhile, Brian and Doug are making plans for the hazing of Jesse. Knucklehead says, “We gotta get him drunk. Like pass out drunk .” Andre joins in, “Like straight up Marine Corp, you're in your rack, and they just cover you up and wail on you, poom, poom, poom.” Great idea. A little assault and battery among the staff should make Rebecca's penis show seem quaint.

Speaking of, Rebecca's been thinking about those pictures since yesterday, “I realized Erika was watching. She's such a tattle tale, I knew she'd go right to Jackie.”

She goes to see Jackie in her office. “I feel like this is your house, and I feel bad I came into your house and was inappropriate with the pictures on my phone.” Nicely done. Now, if you could just stop fondling the clients' boobs.

Jackie seems like a decent boss when she says, “Thank you for coming to me, it was...it's funny, but out of context. As an owner, I have to be aware of that. You're always playing that sex card and there's so much more to you. You're smart and funny, those things are just as sexy.” At Sky Sport & Spa, they take the time to reassure employees how sexy they are. In everyone else's world, it's called sexual harassment.

Rebecca says “Jackie's advice, I hear it, I retain it. But I'm a flirt. For now, it's a part of me.” She tells Doug, “If this were my house, I'd have penis pictures all over the walls. That's just how a roll.” Doug would love working at Rebecca's House of Penis.

It's retreat day. Together in the van, they head out like one big happy family. It's a retreat for us too because Jackie's left Mimi at home, (where she's making voodoo dolls of everyone.) Knucklehead Peeler's way in the back, plotting his hazing rituals, while he eyes Jesse.

He decides to start a game. “If you were stranded on a desert island, if you could have one person in this van to be with you, who would it be? Erika.” Erika Jolie doesn't hesitate, “Myself.” Doug says, “Jesse!” But alas, Rebecca's already claimed him. I'd pick Zen. She hasn't said boo the whole show. In fact, I'm not even sure she's in the van.

Mimi calls Jackie's cell phone. Rebecca shouts out, “Wish you were here!” Jackie confides in the camera, “I like it when Mimi calls, I just wish there was more trust behind it.” No kidding, they've been gone what? An hour?

They arrive at the hotel and Jackie tells them to get dressed, boot camp starts right away. Out in a field, everyone hits the ground for push ups, then right into jumping jacks, right into knee ups, then kickboxing, more push ups, running, jumping, boxing. It's so exhausting to watch, I can hardly eat my Doritos.

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