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As
the dulcet tones of the Cocteau Twins begin to float
through the air (I love that, "Heaven or Las
Vegas," but was that even released in the '80s?),
we see the belle of the ball; Jenny, in a curly wig
(think Nancy McKeon during that mercifully brief poodle-perm
phase) and also sporting her Tootsie-Pop-owl
glasses. And a tiara. And angel wings. Oh, I can't
help myself: I totally dig it.
Max
sees Jenny dancing with someone else and freaks out;
he starts hollering at her and calling her "my
girlfriend." Poor Mia Kirshner: she must wish
she were actually filming a Tootsie Pop commercial,
instead of this crap.
Jenny
stomps off (who wouldn't?) and as Max starts to follow
her, Shane interrupts: "Don't hurt her. Or I'll
fuckin' cut your tits off."
But
Max goes after Jenny anyway and apologizes. In a completely
unconvincing way. I'm Sea-sick again.
I
would like to applaud Jenny for this statement: "When
I realized that I might be gay, I didn't rule out
men. But if I'm going to be with a guy, I'm not going
to be with some aggressive macho male pig who has
different standards of behavior for himself than he
does for me."
And
(she should add) at the very least, he has to be able
to act!
Speaking
of not ruling out men, Tina's phone is ringing. It's
Henry. You're shocked, I know. They make plans to
see each other the next day.
The
music changes again, this time to "I Know What
Boys Like" by The
Waitresses (R.I.P. Patty Donahue). And we get
a montage of tranny prom photos, which are mostly
pretty cute. Alice and Dana look great together, even
in their weird clothes (Alice does the bored-teenager
thing so perfectly). And as Shane and Carmen pose,
Shane announces she's going to take Spanish lessons,
and it's sweet.
The
Planet — Angus wants Kit to marry him.
She says she loves him and wants to be with him and
if she were going to marry anyone, she'd marry him.
But then she says she can't because until gay people
can get married, she can't either. It's nice, but
Debbie Novotny got there first on QAF, and said it
with more conviction.
Jenny's
house — Max has $3452, which is not
enough for the surgery. So he acts like an asshole
again, and Jenny says she doesn't know him.
Max:
"You don't understand."
Jenny: "No, I don't understand.
I really don't understand."
I
feel very close to you right now, Jenny.
The
beach of betrayal — Tina tells Henry
that she loves Bette, but can't help the way she's
feeling. You just met the guy and you're telling him
your life story? I liked you better as Debbie Gibson.
The
retreat — Bette looks like she's going
to jump out of her own skin or scratch her own eyes
out.
And
now I'm going to scratch my own eyes out —
Dylan is filming Helena. They start to play a game
in which Helena seems to be insisting that Dylan sleep
with her or Dylan will get no more funding for her
project. Note to Helena: in no universe is the word
"game" compatible with the word "videocamera."
It's fine that you're less evil this season, but why
are you also less intelligent?
I
don't even get to enjoy the sex because it's obviously
such a set up. Remember earlier when I said I was
feeling sick? I long for that slightly queasy feeling
now.
After
Helena leaves, Dylan's boyfriend Danny emerges from
another room, asking "Well?" Dylan says
"I think I got it." She looks like she feels
kinda sick too.
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