1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 - Home

Helena's house — That is a great view. I'm not sure whether I'm talking about the ocean or Dylan. The soundtrack is perfect: Télépopmusik's "Don't Look Back." Helena and Dylan begin to undress each other, but Dylan interrupts to say that she's never done this before. "Don't worry," says Helena, and I don't think anybody could possibly be worried by all of this deliciousness. If only Helena were a better kisser, I'd be a bit too distracted to write this recap.

Dylan continues to say she doesn't know what she's doing, and needs help undoing Helena's bra, but it's kind of hard to believe because nothing about Alexandra Hedison spells inexperience.

Let me clear my blissed-out mind enough to say that the scene is pretty realistic, by my standards. Helena even does the kneel-on-the-floor at-the-edge-of-the-bed thing, and we all know that that position ensures full access and a happier neck.

Pardon me.

A more difficult meeting of minds — Alice is running Dana's bath. Dana asks Alice to leave so she can change, but then Dana can't quite manage to undo her own bra. So she calls Alice back in, and what happens next is sad and sweet and just plain moving. Dana seems to need Alice to see her, so she takes her bra off. Alice's face registers shock and sadness, so Dana apologizes and tries to cover herself, but Alice says "no" and really looks, knowing that that's the best way to make Dana feel like she's really there and not disappearing at all. She holds Dana close and says "You're beautiful," and it's just about perfect.

Jenny and Max and their laptops, part two — Jenny's writing; it's late, so Max is surprised she's still at it. Max wants to know which chapter she's working on, but Jenny says she's not working on her book; she's writing about Max. Max freaks out and attacks Jenny's laptop, which I guess would be sorta scary if it weren't so dorky-looking. Shane, who was dozing on the couch, interrupts. Carmen comes out of the bedroom too, and it's all kind of awkward, and then it's kinda cool when Shane stares down Max, and then it's pretty damn funny when Shane tries to follow Carmen into the bedroom and Carmen says no.

But all in all? Another scene destroyed by the Sea of bad acting.

Yes, more please — Dylan and Helena are still having sex. Dylan is on top, making good use of her hands, and looking like an expert. Helena says "You sure... you've never... never done this?" And when Dylan says "I want you to come," Helena does, and really, who wouldn't?

Getting out of the shithouse — Shane asks Carmen whether she's had any more of those dreams. Carmen shakes her head.

Shane: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're having these nightmares because of that fucked-up thing I did."
Carmen: "I know, I know that, you know, we're doing this and we're trying to work this out and stuff, but I guess that I'm still hurt."
Shane: "You have every right to be."
Carmen: "I mean, you flew off, Shane. You totally took off with this bird."
Shane: "I'm not going anywhere."

Tina saunters in from across the way, realizing she's interrupting something, but probably not really caring. She's more concerned about making her speech about Angelica having a cold, which is why she can't go with them to the basketball game for Dana.

Jenny lopes in. When Tina and Shane ask about Max, Jenny just stares. You know, just because you're trapped in the Damnable Sea doesn't mean you have to mope.

Jenny goes inside to make her peace with Max, who apologizes for the testosterone. Jenny tells him that he embarrassed her and scared her, and that it's unacceptable to yell at her like that. Right on.

Shane calls for Jenny, so Jenny asks Max if they can just forget about it and go have a great time with Dana. Max doesn't think Dana would want him to be there.

Jenny: "I want you there. I want you to be my date."

Afterglow — Dylan is on the phone with her boyfriend. Helena is worried, but Dylan assures her that it's all good and he hasn't asked any questions.

Dylan: "I'm gonna tell him."
Helena: "You're gonna tell him about us?"
Dylan: "Yeah. Tonight when we get back from San Jose."
Helena: "Really?"
Dylan: "Yeah. Really."

More smooching. How is it that they're suddenly my favorite couple?

The plane — Dana's thrilled about the game and the jet and all of it. Dylan and Helena show up, holding hands, and Alice mutters, "Guys, guys, walk of shame," but everyone's friendly. Dana thanks Helena, and there's genuine gratitude and generosity between them, and I like it even if I can't explain it.

Max isn't sure whether he should board, especially when Helena says, "Are you coming, Moira?" Jenny hollers, "Everybody, Moira's dead! Long live Max."

The studio — Kit falters a little but finally manages to lay down her vocals. Or something like that.

The plane — Dana and Max bond over being on "medication" and having to avoid caffeine and such. I don't know if it's because Erin Daniels is doing a great job or what, but she just about makes Max tolerable.

Max: "Maybe I shouldn't even say it, but it's life and death for me too."
Dana: "But you don't have cancer."

The studio — Mange and Kit are fighting while the Betty girls and Nona look on from the control room. Of course the Betty girls feel perfectly justified in turning on the mike so they can hear what's happening. Mange confesses his love for Kit and says he wants to marry her, but of course she resists it all. Nona interrupts to say "Shut the fuck up, Kit," and it's pretty great. LWordemort says "Kiss the bride, fucker," and that's funny too. Sorta. Oh, blah.

The basketball game — Max goes to the men's room and enjoys whipping it out. It looks a little pale (more than a little, really), but none of the guys at the neighboring urinals are interested, so it's all okay.

Dana's exiting the women's room just as Max is exiting the men's, so they walk together. Someone recognizes Dana, but she says she's not her. Um, you know what I mean.

Dana asks Max what he meant about life and death, and Max talks about attempting suicide and "I knew this wasn't my life," and it makes sense.

As they make their way to their seats, the announcer says "Ladies and gentlemen, we have someone very special with us tonight," and Dana's name and picture hit the jumbotron. A member of the team welcomes Dana, and Dana asks Max to get her out of there. But Max says "It's not for you, it's for them," so Dana embraces the limelight once more. And the look that passes between Dana and Alice is a whole lotta love.

Everyone applauds, and Dana smiles and waves and cries, as Nona Hendryx and Pam Grier sing us out.

NEXT WEEK ON THE L WORD: Max freaks out; Shane and Carmen face la familia; Dylan disappoints me.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 - Home