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I knew I didn't like him — Josh and Tina are making out. But then Josh says "I never thought you were queer. You're way too hot for that. You're so not a lesbian."

Tina: "Josh. Are you really that clueless? You have no idea who I am or how I feel."

And she pushes him off a couple of times (by pushing his forehead, which is really funny somehow) and calls him an ignorant ass.

Thank you, Tina. Don't expect to hear that from me again.

Josh: "You are one fucked-up woman, Tina."
Tina: "Yeah, well, I'm still your fucked-up boss."

The Planet — Billie's snorting something. Kit and Mange arrive just in time to witness it. Kit freaks out, and gives him a little lecture about fucking up her business. She looks really scary; I don't know if it's the camera angle or what, but she's suddenly looking like the crone part of the triple goddess, and Billie's getting a curse put on him.

Billie finally says "I think it's time for me to go," and leaves.

Distracted — Shane and Carmen are trying to have sex. Emphasis on the trying. Shane can't get into it; she says she's just distracted. Carmen doesn't even know what to say.

Waking up — Alice wakes up suddenly and gasps "Dana!" Elsewhere, Dana gasps too, sobbing. And then she continues to spew vitriol at Lara until Lara gives in and leaves.

A mission — Alice's mini looks like a little blue ant next to all the garbage trucks. And Alice looks tiny compared to the guy who tells her to check out a recycling center and/or a landfill if she really wants to find Dana the cutout.

So Alice heads for the landfill in Whittier, and then turns right back around when Dana calls.

The revelation — Carmen and Shane have found the syringe and want to know what's up with Jenny. Moira explains: "It's mine. It's testosterone."

Carmen seems a bit clueless during this conversation. Moira just gives Carmen a high five. You know, Moira/Max, it's one thing to be caught up in your own drama, but you really can't read people at all, can you? At that moment, Carmen wanted a high five about as much as you want breast implants.

New York — Jenny's editor (Eve Ensler) is not happy with Jenny's book. She says it's all from the standpoint of a victim; there's no survival. Somebody forgot to tell Eve Ensler that this isn't the Vagina Monologues and that she doesn't need to project as if she's on stage. Anyway, she doesn't want Jenny's book to tell young girls that cutting is a viable response to trauma.

Jenny: "I would never suggest that anybody do that to themselves. But for me, in that moment, at that time, it made me feel like I was alive, and it made me feel like I had some control over my life."

The editor just keeps berating Jenny until Jenny grabs the manuscript and walks out, stopping long enough to say "fuck you" on the way. Right on. I do mean that.

The publisher (the one who gave Jenny the deal in the first place) tries to patch them back together, but the editor says she simply can't promote Jenny's book. Jenny smiles and says "thank you." I don't know whether to say "Yes, please don't encourage her" or "Can't you see you're just reinforcing her resolve?" So, yeah, both.

Enough — Dana tells Alice that Lara left. But Alice sees through it: "You've been showing her the door with this self-pitying bullshit." She reminds Dana that she has love, insurance, family, friends, a home. It's truly a hell of a lot, Dana.

Alice convinces Dana to go see the B-52s. "I like the B-52s," mutters Dana. Aww.

Later that night — Kit has roped off a safe space for Dana and Alice ("Look out guys, I'm the booby guard.") and the rest of the gang, plus Mange.

Is Bette futzing with her hair a lot in this episode, or is it me? And you've gotta love the strategically placed shadows that keep hiding Jennifer Beals's belly. It's like Eyes Wide Shut all over again.

Kit steps outside to see Billie standing across the street, flashing her his demonic yet cute smile. She nods to him; he blows her a kiss and exits stage right.

Inside, the conversation turns to Tina; Helena starts blathering about Josh, so Bette realizes what's really going on.

Bette: "Great. So she went up to Canada to be with fucking Josh Becker."
Mange: "Who's fucking Josh Becker?"
Bette: "Tina."

As the B-52s do their thing (and what a still very fabulous thing it is -- look at Kate Pierson bopping around as she always has), Shane and Carmen babble about Moira. Carmen blurts out something about getting one's tits cut. Dana just gets up and leaves. Alice tries to help her, but Dana wants to walk her lonely road alone.

The next day, Alice goes to the landfill, where cardboard Dana is already decomposing. Smell that? No, I don't mean the landfill.

NEXT WEEK ON THE L WORD: Dylan and Helena are more than just friends; Carmen questions Shane's fidelity; Dana tries not to disappear; Bette tells Tina to get real.

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