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Did I say everyone seemed high? I'm beginning to feel that way too, because this dialogue is so forced:

Alice: "Is that wedding cake?"
Carmen: "It's not wedding cake. You're just jealous because my girlfriend and I are two gold stars that have found each other."
Kit: "What's a gold star?"
Bette: "Oh, it's somebody who's gay who's never had sex with a person of the opposite sex."
Carmen: "Yeah, people who bump uglies with uglies."
Jenny: "Can I be a gold star even though I've slept with men."

Jenny. What part of the definition was unclear to you? That's like asking "can I be a writer even though I don't know the first thing about grammar?" That was just a random example.

Shane tells Jenny she's the Jewish star instead. Yep, everyone's high. Actually, wouldn't that have been a better scene? Dana could probably get some medical marijuana, and then the party would be an actual party, instead of this weird thing.

Bette asks "So how many gold stars do we have here?" But she says it like she's on Romper Room or something.

Helena raises her hand because she doesn't think the effeminate teenaged boys she shagged in school should count. Alice calls her a "spoiled star."

Mange says that his mama always calls herself a "lone star" because her husband is the only man she's ever slept with. Shane looks positively horrified by the notion.

Dana barks at Lara again and then goes in to lie down. Great, great party.

The Planet — Max thinks s/he's already starting to bulk up. Well, there's certainly a little mustache action going on, anyway.

Max and Billie talk about Dana. Billie reveals that his lover was sick for three years before he died.

And then Max and Billie start to kiss, and then they just do what comes naturally. I guess this is the really shocking thing we've been waiting for: Max is fucking Billie with her strap-on. I'm too busy rolling my eyes at the fact that Max's jersey says CAUC 1. But I'm impressed that Billie keeps lube in his pocket. I should start doing that, just in case I need a conversation piece.

Vancouver — Josh and Tina talk about a gratuitous sex scene in the movie. "I don't have a problem with gratuitous sex," says Tina. Good to know the subtlety problem can happen anywhere.

The weird party — The pseudo-psychedlic music is gone; now we've got the Lakmé duet again instead.

Bette: [to Alice] "Remember this aria?"
Alice: "Oh, you mean our third date, when you finger-fucked me at the opera before telling me you didn't think we were right for each other? Oh, and that you had just met a straight girl that you thought you might fall in love with. No. I don't remember a thing."

Lara comes out of the house, looking broken. Alice gives Bette a look like "Well?" and Bette slowly gets up and goes in, still willing to play that mom role.

Alice tries to comfort Lara. Just when you thought the scene couldn't get any weirder, Alice says "Lara, Dana needs you," and Lara says "She needs you, Alice. You're strong. I just... I feel lost. I feel totally lost." And of course Alice says "Dana's lost too. And I need to find her." I mean, the lines are pretty bad, but what makes them even worse is the unnecessary zooming in on the two women having an emotional moment, and the clunky way the lines are delivered. It suddenly feels like a daytime soap. I suppose that's where we've been heading all along.

Inside the house, Dana tells Bette that she feels like she's watching her life from outside of her own body.

Dana: "I just can't relax. I can't sleep. I can't listen. I love Lara, and I can't stand her. And I'm terrified to be alone."

Oh, no, she's just described me! Except I don't love Lara, not really. Anyway, when Bette asks Dana if she'd like to try some relaxation exercises, Dana and I both say "yes."

Dana thinks of the most beautiful place she can imagine. There's a rather phallic bit of greenery, but let's ignore that; Dana is feeling peaceful and alive and whole. Sigh. I'm starting to hate this storyline.

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