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The
hospital — Alice arrives and doesn't
let Dana's parents get away with the shit they're
trying to pull:
Alice:
"Listen, I can't even begin to imagine
what you're going through right now, but Lara's
Dana's partner. We really need to respect that.
She loves your daughter very much. Dana needs her
right now; I'm sorry."
And
then Alice and Lara go in, and Dana needs them both.
Strategic
grocery bag placement — Jennifer
Beals covers her belly with two grocery bags and is
generally mopey. I mean, she really is kind of mopey
lately, and I wouldn't say that unless I really really
had to.
Tina
arrives home and offers to help Bette with the groceries,
but Bette's more interested in this thing Tina's going
through; she thinks maybe it could be hormonal. Tina
barks that she only dated men before she met Bette.
Bette:
"So what was I — some kind of eight-and-a-half-year
aberration?"
They
go inside to find Angus and Kit making out while they
babysit Angelica. Bette says "Oh my fucking god."
Tina just gets all happy and congratulates them —
yay for straightness! hooray for heterosexuality!
— and even gives them each a kiss on the cheek.
Bette:
"Oh, great, okay, hug hug, that's fantastic.
But you know what, we need some rules."
I
take back the mopey comment: that line was vintage
Bette. So is her "ugh" expression when she
says "no sex in our bed" and Angus and Kit
make the appropriate faces to let her know they've
already broken that rule.
The
Sleater-Kinney show — Sleater-Kinney
will always rock my world. Interesting song choice:
Jumpers.
They're just so so good.
Max
and Billie go to the back room to talk about hormones.
Billie notices that Max is packing, and proceeds to
unpack him. Jenny finds them, with Billie's lips firmly
planted on Max's strap-on.
Wait.
We've been hearing there would be something shocking
this season, something you've never seen on TV. This
is it? This is the big event? Okay, I guess I've never
seen this on TV, but I wouldn't call it shocking.
One might even call it obvious.
Max
tells Jenny that Billie made him feel like a real
guy, not just "some girl with this thing in her
pants." And no matter what you think of Jenny,
you have to admit that she does work hard to keep
her mind open. So she sort of ponders Max's statement,
and gets it, and tells Max "It's okay. Don't
hide." And then she gives Billie what is supposed
to be a mean look, but is really more of a blank stare.
But it makes Billie a little nervous anyway.
Jenny's
going to be a nightmare on her book tour, isn't she?
Lots of platitudes and seemingly profound revelations
and random challenges to people who weren't really
looking for a challenge. Sort of like Dr. Phil, only
more like Madame Pseudo-Philologist.
Not
a nightmare at all — At the Sleater-Kinney
show, Carmen does a little booty dance. Yow, again.
Shane's
cell phone rings; it's Alice with bad news. Shane
puts her head in her hands. Everyone else gathers
around, waiting to find out what's wrong.
The
hospital — Everyone (well, including
Carmen, but not including Helena, who's busy, and
not including Moira, who had the good sense not to
go along) files into Dana's room. At first they all
stand back, not knowing what to do or say or think.
And then Bette quietly steps forward, with all that
strength and calm that she can still exude. She takes
Dana's hand, and says "We love you. Do you know
that? Do you know we love you?"
"Yeah,"
says Dana.
Yeah.
NEXT
WEEK ON THE L WORD: Alice tells Dana to get
a grip; Jenny's editor has a problem with the Jenny
journey; Kit rips Billie a new one; Josh and Tina
get naked.
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