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Alice's new attitude — Alice has bite marks on her neck, but she also has a bounce in her step. She's feeling so free, she asks Janice the cleaning lady (er, cleaning lesbian?) to throw out the Dana standie.

Dana's bad attitude — Lara's helping Dana pack for the hospital. Dana's being morose and morbid, but then who can blame her? Lara just continues to be helpful and kind, and holds a now-sobbing Dana. I do still kinda like you, soup chef.

The Planet — Jenny's waiting tables, or rather, making the tables wait, as she walks gingerly and tries not to drop anything. But then someone arrives to rescue her: a publisher, who seems to be the mother of someone Jenny met while she was getting some help. So that's what I need to do to get my novel published? Make connections in a treatment facility? Well, that and actually write a novel.

Anyway, the publisher, Jan Martin, wants to put Jenny's book against some of the "big hitters" and "make the critics really take notice," but she also wants it to be a "survivor memoir," rather than fiction. I blame Oprah.

The publisher: "Not since Bastard Out of Carolina have I been so thoroughly convinced."

Oh, don't do that. Bastard Out of Carolina is a great book, and comparing Jenny to Dorothy Allison is just a bastardy thing to do.

And then the publisher gives Jenny half of her advance. Jenny very calmly says "would you excuse me for a minute," and then walks about three steps away and starts shrieking and jumping up and down and turning in a circle. "I'm so happy!" she says, in case you thought perhaps she was just doing her Tasmanian Devil impression.

The hospital — A nurse asks Dana to put on a hospital gown and "mark which breast it is." Whoa. Dana puts a little x on her breast. I'd be tempted to write "cut here."

Breakfast — Shane and Carmen are talking things out; or rather, Carmen is talking and Shane is grunting:

Carmen: "Are you in love with her?"
Shane: "No."
Carmen: "Are you sure?"
Shane: "Yeah."

But then Shane gets all polysyllabic on Carmen's fine ass:

Shane: "Please, Carmen, I don't want to make this into a big deal."
Carmen: "You go all the way over to someone's beach house and fuck them 'til the sun comes up and you're asking me not to make it into a big fucking deal?!"
Shane: "You were practically coming all over those two Def Jam guys."

And they holler and Shane says she wasn't jealous; it just made her sad.

Carmen: "Oh, you were so fucking sad that you go off and you fuck Cherie Jaffe? Shane, what kind of a psychotic response is that?"
Shane: "I guess I'm really fucked up in that way."

I don't know why I typed that out. Yes I do: to prove that whatever these two have together, it's not based on deep communication.

Carmen asks Shane if she's hungry, and when Shane says yes, Carmen seems to go into helpful mode, but then she decides to throw the pizza at Shane instead of giving it to her to eat. They shriek some more, and Shane says sometimes sex really is meaningless, so Carmen points out that if that's true, Shane shouldn't care if Carmen fucks other people. This seems to stop Shane in her tracks, probably because at this point in this kind of fight, Shane would normally say "you're right, I don't care."

Being practical — Bette tells Tina to sleep with Josh. Just to see what happens. Bette also says "I can't promise that I'll still be here once you've got your answers." Yeah, and I can't promise I'll transcribe them, whatever they are.

The hospital — Lara gives Dana a kiss and promises her everything's going to be fine and says she'll be right there when Dana wakes up. Dammit.

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