1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 - Next

A bit previous — Dana's watching the tape of her last match — and I meant "last" as in "most recent," but she means "last" as in "final." Lara asks if she's okay (well, yeah, not a good question to ask) and says "Baby, I think you should tell your friends what's really going on." Dana quietly and snippily says "I told them what I wanted to tell them." Lara just leaves, which might seem a bit cold, but then there's a lot of that going around.

Wax — Shane is lackadasically skateboarding again. She must have forgotten to do the Dew.

But she has an appointment, anyway: someone named Cherie wants a haircut. Yes, that Cherie — as in Jaffe, but she's divorced now, so she's Cherie Peroni, and she's very horny.

Shane: "Cherie, what the fuck?"
Cherie: "That's a nice way to greet an old friend."
Shane: "Yeah, I'm sorry, Cherie. How are ya?"
Cherie: "Good."
Shane: "Why are you here?"
Cherie: "I have an appointment to get my hair cut."

And if you believe that, I've got a bridge made of lackadaisical skateboards to sell you.

Shane seems unsure at first, but Cherie's tight skirt and loose morals work their magic. And then Shane puts her specs on, and they work their magic on me — given the choice between Cherie's cleavage and Shane's specs, I'll take the specs any day. But Cherie takes them off — damn her — so she can get close and tell Shane she looks beautiful. And oh, what a shock, there's Carmen.

Shane introduces them, and Carmen knows exactly who Cherie is, so she says "fuck you" and storms off. Shane follows her, and they... well, I can only describe it as a brief scuffle, complete with soapy dialogue:

Shane: "Calm down. Shut up. What's your problem?"
Carmen: "Cherie Jaffe."
Shane: "Come on, I didn't know she was coming in."
Carmen: "Bullshit."
Shane: "You don't believe me? Go look at the book. Go look at my book if you don't believe me."

So Carmen does, but it doesn't help.

Carmen: "Okay, whatever, but that's not the point. Tell her to go fuck herself."
Shane: [staring, waiting]
Carmen: "Act like you have a girlfriend."

And then Shane just kinds of drops her gaze, so Carmen drops the book and stomps off (again). Oh, and did you see Carmen's shirt? It said "No jodas." Well, yeah.

So Shane goes back to Cherie, who's waiting and eavesdropping and plotting. "She's pretty, but not as hot as you are." She invites Shane to "the beach" this weekend, and says Shane can even bring "the girlfriend." And then she gives Shane a little kiss, and Shane gives her a little kiss right back, only nothing these two do together is really ever very little. She also gives Shane a business card (well, address card, I suppose, for "the beach"). Shane tucks the card into her shirt pocket, sits down, and exhales.

Bringing home the bacon (and the slop) — Bette wants to go to her meditation group. But Tina has to work, and she thinks that takes priority. Bette continues to get dressed, which means putting on a Kermit-green meditation shirt. Is shirt the right word? I dunno, I do yoga now and then, but I don't buy the clothes, so I have to go with "shirt." Tina's not happy that Bette's buying expensive Buddhist bodices:

Bette: "It wasn't that expensive, Tina."
Tina: "I didn't know that you needed special clothes to meditate."
Bette: "Fuck it." [taking off Kermit-green shirt to reveal Kermit-green bra] "You know what? If it makes you that uncomfortable, I'll change. Okay, I'll return it. Whatever. Dammit. But you know what, Tina? In the seven-and-a-half years that I was the sole wage earner in this household, I never lorded money over you the way you do me."
Tina: "And we didn't have a child then."
Bette: "And you didn't have a $300 haircut."

Woo! I mean, woe. Or something in between the two. It's hard to want them to break up, but at times it's impossible to want them to stay together.

Inexpensive meditation — Julia (Anne-Marie MacDonald) is leading the meditation. So she's both an important art person and a zen master? Yes, because those are the perfect roles for an actress who has great comedic timing. Sigh.

Bette has a sort of epiphany (you can tell by the way her face is suddenly bathed in light and then briefly morphs into one of those blurry-layered faces that usually indicate that someone's high). Good: an epiphany has never been more needed. Julia talks about the presence that is always there. Namaste.

Jennifer Beals's blossoming expression is a form of enlightenment in itself.

Another kind of godliness — Moira is scrubbing the floor. Jenny wants to know why. "Because I'm not making any other contribution," says Moira. So Jenny offers to help (and now her hair is looking more like Bettie Page than Judy Garland, but either way it's still just weird).

Moira tells Jenny about the fuckhead interviewer. Jenny tells her to stop cleaning; she's got a better idea. Oh my god: you're really going to leave all that soapy water on the hardwood floor? I can't cope.

They go to Jenny's room, where Jenny gets out the strap-on.

Moira: "I don't think, uh... I'm not really in the mood right now."
Jenny: "No, I don't want you to fuck me right now. I want you to get dressed. Max."

So Max does: tight jeans, and an ace bandage around her breasts, and a muscle shirt to finish it all off. "You look really hot," says Jenny, and I don't disagree. Well, maybe I disagree with the "really."

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 - Next