1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 - Next

The pool of loneliness — Bette and Angelica are cooling their tooties. Do you see how cute they are together? Ms. Beals's maternal instinct is clearly going strong. And Tina's type-A instinct is in overdrive: she wants to know what they're doing and why and whether she'll have time to pump before her meeting and whether everyone will bow down and kiss her feet.

Bette: "I'm sure they'll hold the meeting for you. You're the boss now, aren't ya?"
Tina: "That might be how you treated your subordinates, but I don't like to keep people waiting."
Bette: [to Angelica, as Tina walks in and out of the scene]: "Well, I never called my colleagues my subordinates. But you know what, your Mama T is a little stressed right now. She has her very first big staff meeting."
Tina: "I don't even have time to pump now. I'll just do it later. Can you, umm, pick up my dry cleaning, please?"
Bette: [to Angelica, as Tina stomps off again] "And now she thinks that just because, for this once, she's the one to bring home the bacon, that we should jump through burning hoops."
Angelica: "Grr gah ggrrrgle."
Bette: "I know. I feel the same way."

So, in case you're not keeping track, let me count for you: that's three, three, three fire references in the first ten minutes. And because you probably couldn't tell from the dialogue, let me just tell you again that Jennifer Beals and the baby who's playing Angelica are simply adorable together. And how 'bout that dry cleaning nod to last season? Mama B and Mama T are doomed.

The Planet — Kit has some news for Carmen. Carmen is listening, but not without keeping her face forward, being fully aware of the camera at all times. If someone's giving you good news, would you not possibly look them in the eye, instead of making them talk to the back of your head as you sip your café?

When she finally gets the good news, Carmen turns to face Kit and the camera that's behind Kit. Let's face it: by the end of this season, this just might be the Sarah Shahi show, and there are plenty of good reasons for that.

So the good news is that Carmen has been asked to DJ a Russell Simmons party. The bad news is that the party is the same night as Shane's opening — as in the opening of Shane's new job at Wax. Shane tells Carmen not to pass it up.

Heroes — Dana is on a sports show. It's hosted by Billie Jean King, who is Dana's hero. Hey, she was everybody's hero when she beat Bobby Riggs, but that doesn't mean she should take up acting. No worries about that, actually: clearly she hasn't.

Why is Billie Jean talking about Dana's "comeback?" What comeback? Where did Dana go, and where exactly had she arrived before that, in order to have something to come back to? Damn those missing six months between seasons.

The Planet — Billie Blaikie is eyeing up some fresh meat. He wonders if the guy is a vegan, because "you know what they say about vegans: their cum tastes really sweet." Hmm, perhaps I ought to take up veganism again. I did embrace it for a while, but I missed cheese. Let me apologize: it's really wrong to put the words "cum" and "cheese" in the same paragraph.

Anyway, Billie seems to be sort of teasing Bette, who says the possibly-vegan guy would not make a good waiter.

Kit: "Billie's just tryin' to give him a chance."
Bette: "Billie just wants to know what he eats."
Billie: [after a suitably respectful pause] "Okay, darlin'. I do not need to give people jobs to find out about their culinary habits. And talkin' of which, when's the last time you ate out?"

Bette pretends to be shocked, but she's thinking "far, far too long ago, Billie boy."

Bette's cell phone saves her; it's Julia the important art person. Julia's in the hospital and needs someone to fill in for her in Washington (or "Warshington," as Kit says, having spent time in my home state). There's some sort of Senate hearing about NEA grants. Yeah, Bette can just do that with no preparation. Sure.

Kit worries that Billie's going to provoke a lawsuit if he keeps playing with the waiter, but Billie says the boy holds no mystery for him. And then he sees Moira, and thinks Moira's a he, or hopes so. I just hope Moira never ever wears that stupid hat again.

So Billie is surprised when Jenny introduces Moira as Moira (and Alan Cumming is brilliant in this scene: fascinated and kind). Moira shakes his hand and warms to him right away. No, not like that. Or at least not yet.

Billie invites S/he-Ra to a party of "people like us: some people who've changed their bodies to match up to their brains; and a few who've changed their brains to match up to their bodies." Moira pretends she doesn't know what he's talking about, so he calls her "Handsome" and tells her they're good people. I like you, Billie Blaikie.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 - Next