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The L Word
recap: Lobster (season 3, episode 3)
(Original airdate: 22 January 2006)
THIS
WEEK'S L WORD VOCABULARY:
-
Labels: The thing nobody can get
past.
-
Money: It makes the world go round,
and it makes Tina's eyes go round.
-
Uninspired: The nicest thing anyone
can say about this episode.
THIS
WEEK'S GUEST-BIANS: Alan Cumming shows his
pit hair; Lauren Lee Smith gets rejected.
A
bus named desire — We're on a bus.
There are nuns on the bus. Lots of them. Remember
that dangling cross from last week, around the neck
of the woman who said "fuck me so I forget who
I am?" Yes, we're seeing it again, because the
fuck-ee (Toni) was a nun. And now she's a peacefully
dozing nun with a book on her lap. The nun in the
seat next to her (Agatha, which is a very nunnish
name) discovers that the book is hiding a juicier
tome: Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence. (Never
mind that that book was published in 1985, and this
bus is holy-rolling down the highway in Sublimity,
Oregon in 1984.)
Agatha
decides to take advantage of her discovery; she moves
the book and slips her hand along Toni's thigh, and
before you know it, there are two sighing nuns on
a bus that's suddenly (but not subtly) slipping into
a tunnel. Why doesn't anyone else hear their oohs
and ahhs? Is it just an everyday occurrence on the
road to salvation? Is this what Catholics really mean
when they talk about the Passion?
A
quick aside — I've been asked whether
I also write recaps for other sites (like PlanetOut),
under a different name. First of all, if you've read
those other recaps, I think you already know that
the answer is no. Also, I'm not superhuman: it would
take some exceptional fortitude to write about this
show more than once a week.
Where
the cool kids hang — Shane and Carmen
are strolling along, arm in arm, to see Shane's friend
Chase. He works at (owns? I don't know) a cool place
called Wax — you can tell it's cool because of
all the skateboards and perfect hair and The Dead
Kennedys on the stereo. Apparently Chase wants Shane
to have a chair there: "Shane for Wax."
What, Shane has to actually make a living?
Tarot
for the ego — Helena's getting another
reading. This time she learns that a former lover
will come back into her life and will also be useful
to her in a business sense. Again I must protest:
Helena's being open and real and (shudder) likeable,
and I like the way she says "fucking" (especially
because she's saying "fucking idiot") and
the upshot of all this is that I will soon be playing
52-card-pickup with the remains of my poor exploded
brain.
And
can I just tell you that the tarot reader bugs me?
She's so... serene. In a smug way. I'd rather get
a reading from Sofie and her catatonic mother.
The
house of pain — Bette answers the phone.
She's carrying Angelica and a blanket — all the
better to cover the Beals belly with. The caller is
Julia, the Important Art-Related Person from last
week. It seems the NEA funding has been pulled from
Bette's project.
Bette:
[into the phone] "You are fucking kidding
me."
Angelica: [to no one in particular]
"Arr yaar yaa."
Bette
hangs up and tells Tina the bad news: the problem
is that the show ("The Art of Dissent")
is critical of the Bush administration. Tina says
"Hey, that's got to be unconstitutional"
in a way that makes me chortle — not just because
the comment is silly, but because she says it like
she's some sort of hippie. But she's always sorta
sounded like that, hasn't she? Trouble is, she no
longer has the laid-back attitude to go with it.
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