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Sleepless — Bette is worried. No, she's downright scared: about not being able to adopt Angelica, about not finding a job that she really loves, about losing the house, about not having control over anything. The lighting and the giant polka dots on the pillowcase and Bette's furrowed brow all add up to something kind of film noir-ish... a lost weekend, perhaps? But it's more like Barbara Stanwyck in Sorry, Wrong Number, or perhaps I'm muddling the washed-up camp stars in my mind.

Of course Tina is asleep as Bette bares her soul, and the whole thing is another classic AM Homes moment, just uncomfortable enough to be great.

Oh, and Angelica has been inhaling Tina's arm this entire time. Far be it from me to take a stand on the whole sleeping-with-your-baby thing, but it's a good thing that's a fake baby (look! it never moves!) because I doubt the bicep-over-nostrils method is a safe one.

Standing up — Kit calls Angelica "little Foxy Brown." Now that's cute. Not to mention a very enjoyable film.

David says Kit's not listening to anything he says.

Kit: "Oh, I heard you. I'm supposed to take progesterone to help me with the crazies. But what are you gonna take to help you with your bigotry?"

Oh Kit, how I adore thee. David's still not sure why he's there. Bette starts to explain, but just as she's about to get to the point, the social worker arrives.

And of course David says he can't play along, because he doesn't believe in gay adoption, because he hasn't figured out what to take to cure his bigotry. David, you have cool hair, but that is the only nice thing I'm ever going to say about you.

Somewhere with a big wall — Bette's putting some art on the wall: it's called The Ultimate Patriot Act, and it says "Eating pussy is the ultimate patriot act." I'm not sure why, but I don't really disagree. The piece is by a Guerrilla Girl.

And the woman to whom Bette is presenting the piece, Julia, is played by Ann-Marie MacDonald, star of Interviews with My Next Girlfriend and Better Then Chocolate. But she doesn't get to show us her fab comedic timing in this scene, and that's a shame.

Julia likes the Guerrilla Girl piece, but Bette is fixated on the fact that Tina doesn't like it, because she wants her partner to support her.

Julia: "What, unconditionally?"
Bette: "Well, I don't know. I mean, why shouldn't I expect the person that I'm closest to in the world to try to see things from my point of view, instead of challenging me and questioning my convictions all the time?"

Well, questioning your convictions, no, but challenging you? That's better than supportive: it's zingy fun stuff. It's, you know, growth and sanity and not just Bette-is-the-center-of-the-world stuff.

Julia suggests therapy, but of course Bette and Tina have tried that more than once. So Julia suggests Mark Epstein, who's giving a talk about his new book, Open to Desire.

I'm open to desire where both of these women are concerned, and it's not really helping me one bit.

Shane & Jenny's house — Carmen is telling Shane to come out. Bet you never thought you'd hear that. But of course she's saying it because Shane is wearing that white dress from last week, and when she does come out in it, she's wearing Converse and a pouty face, and the total effect is positively adorable. Yeah, I said it. Don't make me say it again.

Shane: "I feel like a piñata."
Carmen: "You're too small to be a piñata, but how 'bout the top of a tranny wedding cake?"
Shane: "You're not helping me."

So Carmen kisses her, and says "Quiero lamer te hasta que te vengas en mi boca mil veces," which apparently means "I'm gonna lick you until you come in my mouth a thousand times." And I don't know if the Spanish is correct, but the scene almost gets hot, until Carmen discovers that Shane is wearing men's briefs under her dress, which suddenly makes Carmen want to get Shane some cha-cha heels. What?

The birthday party — Alice and Helena arrive at what they think is Alice's surprise party, but of course there are kids everywhere. As Alice sulks, Helena does another surprisingly wonderfully human thing: she finds Bette and Tina in the kitchen and tells them all about Alice's "misapprehension." Luckily, there's still room on the cake to add "and Alice" to "Happy Birthday Angelica." And it's just enough to make Alice smile. Aww. Angelica plonks her hand right into the pink frosting — somebody give that kid some cake!

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