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Bette says it probably wasn't exactly the wedding dress of her childhood dreams, but Jenny says she didn't really have that "childhood thing that all little girls are supposed to have." Me neither. Alice says little gay girls weren't supposed to have that anyway.

Jenny tries on a dress too. Bette remembers that when she and Tina were talking about getting married, they were both going to wear fabulous dresses.

Jenny: "How come you guys didn't get married?"
Bette: "Tina thought it would be too conventional. She didn't wanna cleave to the heterosexual paradigm."
Alice: "Now it's cleavin' all over her."
Carmen: "Oh god. Come back to us, Tina, come back on our side."
Bette: "Fuck that, they can have her."

Not only was that alpha-licious, but the whole scene was rather reminiscent of a conversation I once had about my ex. It's always the ones who seem the most "feminist" who go back to the boys, isn't it? They protest too much. However, of all the "stories" one might want to tell about "the way that we live," this is not necessarily the one we want to hear. And you can't just get one story right and fuck up all the rest of them. And you still can't expect us to believe that anybody would actually leave Bette! Do you see her hair and how fan-fucking-tastic she looks in black? I need a moment.

Helena tries to get Bette to try a dress on, but Bette says no thanks. Perhaps if you were to mention the fondue again, Helena. Bette seems to be interested in that.

Carmen: "I mean, I knew I was gay since I was 12, but, I dunno, I just always kinda dreamed of something like this."

I didn't type that out because it's profound in some way; I just wanted the opportunity to say that Carmen is looking exceptionally gorgeous.

The diner — Daddy-O is talking about his work history and his drug abuse history. One of his friends OD'ed, and that woke him up. Shane says she recently lost one of her close friends too. Daddy-O is all caring and stuff. He invites her back to his house for dinner, to meet Carla and Shay. Yes, Shay. Daddy-O tells Shane that he's the one who chose her name. And Shane looks touched, but I would be thinking "Dude, couldn't you be a little more creative with the second one?"

The Planet — Bette and Joyce are having lunch. Bette doesn't wanna fly on the same plane to Canada as Tina; she says she just can't be in close quarters with her. Joyce tells her to be genial and civil. Look at Joyce chomp. There's a carnivore theme here, as well as a serious love of mastication.

Bette says she's probably going to take that job.

Joyce: "Excellent. That will play very well in court. Dean of a prestigious art school. And it can't hurt when it comes to pullin' in chicks."
Bette: "Excuse me?"
Joyce: "Lotsa pretty young art students. You'll be like a kid in a candy store."
Bette: "God, Joyce. That's completely unethical. I would never do anything like that."

Unethical. That's like telling Jenny that something is completely self-involved and thus shouldn't be done. Joyce's face registers no comprehension.

Kit interrupts to pull Bette into the bathroom and show her a lot of pregnancy test sticks. Bette is a little slow on the uptake, and then doesn't believe it's possible, and then just laughs and says "Fuck." Well, exactly!

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