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Afterwards,
the gang tries to decide whether to go to the Fairbanks
house, considering they've been impliedly not invited.
Bette decides to go home to be with her baby, "especially
since her other mother's taking her off this afternoon
to be with her new man friend."
Do
you see Bette's face? It could almost rival the SNL
Church Lady's pursed lips of disapproval.
Everyone
else hangs out to wait for Alice. They talk about
a job Max is interviewing for; it's the same place
that treated Moira like shit, but maybe they'll treat
Max better. Yes, you are meant to be suspicious. In
fact, you don't have to think about anything at all,
because the dialogue is here to fill in all the gaps
and help you make up your mind before it even occurs
to you to wonder about anything.
Shane
can't really listen; she's too wrecked to do much
but lean her head against the wall and try not to
fall apart. Sniffle.
Finally
Alice shows up, with Dana's ashes. In a coffee cup.
Well, presumably a clean, dry coffee cup! Anyway,
Alice has stolen the ashes so that the group can have
their own memorial at Dana's summer camp.
Shane:
"You are my hero."
Not
to mention the show's hero. Alice is keeping this
boat afloat.
Max's
job interview — Max meets "the
guys," including the guy who mocked Moira. He
doesn't seem to recognize Max.
Usually
I say "my eyes! my eyes!" when Max is on
the screen, because I'm generally so befuddled by
his facial hair. Not the fact of it: just the behavior
of it. Anyway, this time I'm also saying "my
ears! my ears!" because Max is once again trying
to sound like he knows the first thing about computers,
but it's sort of like Chaiken trying to sound like
she knows the first thing about her audience.
Helena's
house — Why am I calling it a house?
It's a damn seaside resort. Anyway, Helena sees something
on her security monitor: it's Dylan, leaving something
at the gate. Helena tries to stop her, but Dylan drives
away. There's an envelope and a box for Helena, and
whatever it is, it's not going to be enough. At least
not for me. I want those Dylan eyes, and those lines
on Dylan's face, and all of that luscious naked Dylan-ness.
The
house of pain — Angelica and Bette are
in their house, minding their own business, looking
gorgeous together. They hear voices, including a male
voice. Why the hell can't you two at least break up
properly first? God.
Tina
introduces Bette to Henry and Mikey. Bette is gracious
and Henry is nice. And Tina is... not very sincere
when she asks Bette whether she wants to join the
shiny happy family on their trip to the aquarium.
Bette:
"I have a meeting. I'm being head-hunted
by Art College L.A."
Tina: "They want you to
teach?"
Bette: "They're searching
for a Dean."
Pow,
zap, Alpha Bette is back. If I could only describe
her "fuck you" look of disappointment, followed
by the fakely sweet smile. Tina can only sort of chuckle
in an embarrassed way. Henry at least manages to say
"congratulations." No, I did not just defend
Henry.
Mikey
asks Bette to take a "family picture,"and
the pain on Bette's face is almost as bad as the awkward
looks on Tina and Henry's faces in the photo. I'm
not sure how much more of this Bette and I can take,
especially because it's all just cold and empty, rather
than truly horrible. What happened to that passionate
couple we used to know, who knew how to fight and
love and fall apart whole-heartedly, rather than just
sort of stepping sideways and never really talking
about anything?
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