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The L Word
recap: Last Dance (season 3, episode 11)
(Original airdate: 12 March 2006)
THIS
WEEK'S L WORD VOCABULARY:
- Pitch-perfect:
Leisha Hailey. Despite all the obstacles, like the
writing, and the writing, and the writing.
- The
enemy: A moving target, if you're Jenny.
- Waterfalls:
Don't go chasin' 'em.
THIS
WEEK'S GUEST-BIANS:Jane Lynch is a lesbian
in L.A.; Alexandra Hedison runs away.
An
apology — Sorry this recap was late.
I won't bore you with my lame excuses. But don't ever
bother Sarah when the recaps are late, or I'll hunt
you down and torture you by acting out Max/Jenny scenes.
A
retrospective — As the opening credits
roll (sans Betty), we're seeing scenes of the joy
and goodness that we knew as Dana: Dana playing tennis;
Dana kissing the soup chef for the first time; Dana
getting adored and teased by her friends; Dana and
Alice naked, kissing; Dana and Alice dancing; Dana
and Alice kissing in the bathroom; Dana and Tonya
announcing their engagement; Dana and Jenny sipping
their juice before their blindingly awkward sex scene;
Dana in her theme song pose.
Dammit.
That's still all I can say to this damn storyline.
Just dammit.
Oh,
and this: could we please have a Dana montage every
week, instead of the theme song? What a glorious relief
that was, even if the theme song was technically still
there, in the form of austere, mournful notes. I'll
take austere and mournful over shrill and off-key
any day.
The
funeral — I kinda love the fact that
Alice is wearing brown in a sea of black. That's very
Alice.
Howie
(Dana's conveniently gay brother) tells Alice (and
Shane and Carmen) that Dana's parents want to put
her ashes in a mausoleum. Alice says this "just
sucks," because she knows Dana wanted her ashes
scattered over her summer camp. Aww. That's so dorky
in such a Dana way.
Tina
and Helena arrive; they find Bette, Kit, Max, and
Jenny.
Tina:
"Why are we sitting all the way back here?"
Kit: "The front rows are
reserved for family and 'close' friends."
Tina: "And we are... ?"
Bette: "Does it really
matter, Tina?"
Tina: "Yes, I think it
does, Bette. It would matter to Dana."
Bette: "Maybe we can put
ourselves aside for once."
Kit: "Guys, we are here
for Dana."
Bette: "That's what I
was saying."
You
so weren't saying that, Bette.
The
service starts; they sing Nearer My God to Thee,
and I guess it's supposed to be profound or at least
interesting, but the only thing I find interesting
is that Kit can't seem to sing in tune when she's
sad and Jenny can't seem to read the words properly.
Don't tell me I'm being disrespectful: they did it
first!
Carmen
asks Alice whether she managed to get in touch with
Lara. Alice says she left messages, but she thinks
Lara is still in Paris.
Then
the preacher/minister/whatever starts to babble, and
says that Dana longed for companionship and didn't
have a "love mate." Our heroines start to
mutter, and when the guy crosses the line and starts
talking about the perfect man and husband for Dana,
Alice can't take it — she stands up and sets
the record, um, not straight:
Alice:
"What are you talking about? Dana was gay."
I
sort of want to cheer, but there's something very
hollow about the moment. And then it's funny when
someone says "really?" as Alice walks out.
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