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Finally, the bus is here — As the three board the bus, the Crone and the Hobo offer some last gems:

The Crone: "Life is a strange, fast trip. I'm just glad we all have seats."
The Hobo: "Don't forget to scream."

Dude. That totally makes me think you're going to blow up the bus or something. I mean, "Don't forget to scream" could be a tag line for a horror film. Or for this show, I guess, now that they've written it right in.

A post-dinner proclamation — Tina's just been to the loo, or somewhere. Henry pulls her aside and says "I just want you to know that I do not feel that way at all. I don't have a problem with your life or the way you've lived it."

Well, thanks; it was vague, but at least you're heartfelt in your vagueness. Tina doesn't seem all that impressed, but again, that could just be me projecting.

Another post-dinner discussion — Max and Jenny talk about the fiasco at Pink's. Max doesn't think Tim is such a bad guy, and wonders if Jenny misses her life with Tim. Or, well, specifically, "being with a man."

Jenny: "I would have killed myself if that were my life."
Max: "They seem happy though. I mean, you know, he's got a good job, a wife, a kid on the way. Doesn't seem so bad to me."
Jenny: "Max, would you wanna be some oblivious guy that lives in the suburbs and has a wife and kids, and an SUV, who just lets all the rotten shit in the world go by, trying not to let it touch him?"
Max: "I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to be happy."

You're both right. And entirely wrong for each other.

Dirge, verse six —I used to watch a cool show; I can't remember what it was called, but it didn't have a mission or a motive and didn't make statements just for the sake of making a statement; it seemed to know its own mind.

Outside the hospital — Throughout the whole conversation with Tonya, Alice hasn't revealed that Dana is inside the hospital and on her deathbed. My guess is that maybe she just can't really say it, especially not to someone who's not really listening.

Tonya: "You know, I was always a little jealous of you, Alice."
Alice: "Why?"
Tonya: "Because Dana loves you so much. It was actually kind of hard to deal with when we were together, knowing that there was ultimately this other person that was so much more important than me."

Dammit.

No, I mean really, dammit, because Dana has just flatlined. The nurses are panicking and there's a crash cart and all of that stuff that goes on, but the point is that nobody's with Dana: not Alice, not Dana's parents, not the family of friends she loves and needs. And as she dies, we hear the nurses and the doctor and the beeps of the machines, but we see what everyone else is doing: Shane and Carmen are fucking; Tina is holding Angelica close at the restaurant; Peggy is holding Helena's hand; Kit and Mange are making out; Jenny is resting a hand on Max's shoulder.

And Bette is on the bus, feeling and knowing that something's wrong somewhere, and closing her eyes against the loss.

And Alice is going back into the hospital, at just the wrong time, just in time for them to tell her that Dana is gone.

She crumbles to the floor, and wails, and says no. No.

And that should have been the end of it — But instead we get a postscript, in the form of a little pseudo-educational mostly-promotional film about breast cancer and about how The L Word has tackled this difficult subject with such grace and skill. Never mind that Kate Moennig freely admits that she hates the whole storyline, and Erin Daniels intends to cry for weeks, and nobody thinks the show will be the same. Ilene Chaiken says she had no control over any of it because, you know, these things just write themselves. Yeah, so do the recaps: I don't actually think you've cheated your viewers and lost one of the best characters on the show. I had no idea I was going to say that; it just fell on me from above, and who am I to argue with creative vision?

Dirge, chorus — I used to watch a cool show that made me happy; I can't remember what it was called, and it's possible that I imagined the whole thing. But I do miss it. I always will.

NEXT WEEK ON THE L WORD: The funeral. Also, Max gets a job, and Bette worries that Angelica is going to feel out of place with the shiny happy people.

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