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The
great outdoors Bette is done with
the retreat. A monk looks on disapprovingly as she
leaves, so apparently she's not exactly supposed to
be retreating from the retreat. As Bette walks down
a snowy path (Bette and snow?? I may swoon), she lets
out a few whoops. Not just whoops: really good fucking
whoo-hoo-whoop-whoop-whoops.
The
flophouse Carmen is putting stuff
on Dana's iPod. Shane says she didn't know Carmen
liked classical music.
Carmen:
"Well, there are a lot of little things
you don't know about me."
Shane: "Oh yeah? I bet
there is. Like what?"
Carmen: "Um, like... I
shot a gun once. It was my cousin's and it was very
loud."
Shane: "I know what you
mean. I shot one once too. All right, go on: tell
me some more."
Carmen: "I cheated on
you."
Shane: [silence]
Carmen: "I said I cheated"
Shane: "I heard you."
[more silence] "When?"
Carmen: "After you fucked
Cherie Jaffe."
A
parking lot Jenny and Max are walking
determinedly, holding hands. They're meeting Tim.
Yes, I said Tim, as in Jenny's ex-husband. He looks
pretty much the same. As he and Jenny hug, Max hangs
back and squeezes his own arm, apparently thinking
"I wish I had Tim's biceps." Yeah, I know
we're all self-involved when we're in the midst of
big personal changes, but are you really thinking
about your muscles while your girlfriend and her ex
are having what must be a rather awkward moment?
Tim's
wife, Becky, shows up. She's pregnant. Max says "right
on," even though nobody's really talking to him.
Tim
introduces himself to Max, and Jenny says "This
is Max, my boyfriend." Tim looks a little confused.
Tim and Randy (that other coach who was always fairly
amusing) go off to check on their teams.
Randy
[to Tim]: "Hey, not that you're asking
me, but I think you should be happy you got out
when you did."
Max
puts his hand on Becky's belly and asks when she's
due. I don't intend to ever get pregnant, but if I
do, I will be slapping away uninvited belly-feeling
hands.
Mediating
Helena and her lawyer meet with Dylan
and her man and their lawyer. Helena doesn't want
to go into the meeting room, but her lawyer tells
her that if she doesn't, it's going to look like "an
admonition of guilt." An admonition? I hope your
legal skills are better than your vocabulary. Way,
way better.
Never
mind: guess who's coming to the rescue? Peggy Peabody,
in the glorious flesh.
Helena:
"Mother, what are you doing here?"
Peggy: "What does it look
like I'm doing? Taking care of my company."
Peggy.
Marry me. Please. Or if you won't do that, could you
please take the helm of this show and fix everything?
Chit-chat
Max and Tim talk. Well, Max talks,
about his swimming days, and Tim gets a little confused
when Max talks about his best time. Tim asks, "For
the men's 400 freestyle?"
Jenny:
"He's transitioning. He's a pre-op transsexual
and he was talking about the women's swim team time."
Tim
laughs and walks away. Becky's not impressed; when
she gets to the car, she scolds Tim for his attitude.
Tim:
"Becky, the next time we see Jenny, she
might be with a German shepherd. Just brace yourself."
Becky: "What are you even
talking about?"
Tim: "Jenny. This is classic
Jenny bullshit. It's not enough for her to be gay;
she's gotta have a girlfriend who's a boyfriend.
It's just too fucking much."
Tim,
it's kind of cool that you don't just let Jenny get
away with her passive-aggressive crap, but you're
still kind of being a jerk by essentially comparing
Max to a dog. And Becky, may I borrow your line? I
could say "What are you even talking about?"
at least five times per episode.
Jenny
tries to rejoin her boyfriend, but Max doesn't want
to unlock the door of the pickup. I can't say I really
blame him. Becky and Tim sort of watch the scene from
their car:
Becky:
"I guess he doesn't like it when Jenny
tells people."
Tim: "As if it wasn't
obvious."
Becky: "Well, I'm sorry,
but it wasn't obvious to me."
Becky.
Please join Peggy in the boardroom and fix the show.
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