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7 - Home
So
Jenny does her usual speechifying:
Jenny:
"You've wanted me out of the house from
the moment I set foot in here. What is it, Warren?
Am I too fucked up for you? Am I too perverted?
Look at me. Do I remind you of how messy and out
of control your life is? Warren... I'm just not
the girl you wanted me to be."
Jenny's mom: "Jennifer,
stop."
Jenny: "No, you stop.
When are you gonna start being an actual person
and not this silent slave to this man?"
Warren: "Don't you dare
disrespect your mother."
Jenny: "That's a privilege
that's reserved for you."
Warren: "Well, I -- don't
know what more we can do."
Jenny: "Nothing. There's
nothing more you can do for me to make me the person
that you are comfortable with. Because I'm not gonna
marry that nice Jewish boy. I'm not gonna have those
nice Jewish kids. I'm not gonna shut up and be subservient.
I'm not gonna set the dinner table and pretend that
bad things don't happen. Because when you don't
talk about them, they get worse, Warren."
While
this is going on, we get a glimpse of Moira, who looks
like she's wondering whether she has enough change
to buy a Big Mac on the way home. And then there's
Margot Kidder's reaction to Jenny's little speech,
which is something along the lines of "Why the
hell did I take this role? I was better off when I
was shit-faced in the gutter!"
It's
good to stand up for yourself. Really. But drama for
drama's sake? Not so good. Let me translate Jenny's
little speech for you:
Jenny:
"Me me me me ME, me me me. Warren. Oh,
and also ME, and feminist ME, and me me me me me
and knee-jerk ME, Warren, and blame-assigning ME,
and me me me. Oh, and me. Warren. And Moira over
there as she relates to me. And also, me, and finally,
ME."
Jenny's
mom stops her on the way out, and sits on the front
steps with her for a bit. She finally acknowledges
that bad stuff happened to Jenny when she was a kid,
which is cool even if it is kinda late. And she apologizes
for not being there, which is perhaps a sign that
she might turn out to be a decent listener after all,
that is, if there weren't so much me me me me me going
on all the time.
So
jealous Just how jealous is Alice?
Jealous enough to have a Dana shrine in the house:
pictures and candles and a cardboard standie thingie.
Aww, Alice. I have a Xena standie, but that's because
she scares me a little and makes me get my work done.
The
real earth mother David continues
to ask Kit about her symptoms.
David:
"What about vaginal dryness?"
Kit: "What?"
David: "I'm sorry, mom,
but it's important that I ascertain these things."
Kit: "Oh, no no no. We
do not go there. I am your mother, and you are my
son. And my punani, dry or not dry, is something
we do not discuss."
Kit,
you still rule.
The
planet Back to the euphemism chit-chat.
This time Alice is there but Dana and Lara aren't,
just to balance out the earlier scene, I guess. How
long must we suffer?
Tina
says she has a friend in England who calls it "front
bottom." Well, that's kinda silly, but it's not
the term, it's the technique and they're better
at it over there.
Bette:
"You know what's really lovely? Yoni. It's
sanskrit."
Alice: "No, I like a non-sanskrit
trashy thing, like tongue-trap."
And
the irreverent litany continues, especially when Kit
shows up to tell them all "I got menopause."
Actually, then it becomes a slew of slang for sex.
And it all rocks!
Here's
everything, for your edification: Burnt curtains,
wiff-waff, clit, cunt, pussy, beaver, twat, down there,
nether regions, private parts, naughty bits, no-no,
lady parts, it, peeper, punani, front-bottom, pretty
pink pearl, yoni, tongue-trap, bald man in a boat,
breakfast of champions, munchbox, wee wee, ha ha,
hoo hoo, mimi, fuckhole, calcunta. Get a hot beef
injection, dip the chip, bang the box, sweep out the
chimney, stretch that leather, bump the uglies, dip
and dive, shake the sheets, crack the nut, get some
skank on the hang-low, ride the baloney pony, give
that dog a bone, shuck the oyster, put some beef in
yo' taco, ride that beef bus to tuna town. The lips
between the hips, furry monkey, smurf crease, bearded
oyster, bikini biscuit, cooter, cherry pie, cat flaps,
cha-cha, hairy goblet, grand canyon, fish taco, cream
collector, goodie bag, box of assorted creams, honey
pot, dugout, love mitten, mermaid's purse, skeeky/skeezy,
pink velvet sausage wallet, nonny, ham wallet, coochie,
sweet spot, power slot, foo-foo valve, pork shutters,
bermuda triangle, grab hole, squeegee, vertical smile,
vessel tube, monkey's chin, chewbacca, panty hamster,
roast beef sandwich, camel toe.
Kit:
"Camel toe oh, that's so generic."
NEXT
WEEK ON THE L WORD: Alan Cumming classes
up the joint; Alice acknowledges her obsession; Bette
just wants to be a mama; Moira defies roles.
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