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Passion — The social worker is not impressed when Bette says she's not working because she has yet to find something she feels "passionate" about. But Ms. Collie does get rather passionate when she asks whether Angelica will have a significant man in her life; passionate about men in general, that is. It's not that funny, but Cynthia Stevenson manages to do something with it anyway.

And then there's a crash outside: Alice has slammed into Ms. Collie's car, and proceeds to make a really good impression, which includes proclaiming "Well Jesus, fuck" as she makes her entrance. I can't help it: I even like Disaster Alice.

Alice explains it all to Tina: "I just got in a car chase with Dana. I kind of ran her off the road." She says it in a sweet little voice. Snort.

Ms. Collie: "Let's just hope she doesn't have a lot of contact with the child."
Alice: "Uh, I happen to be the earth mother. I would have been the godmother, but I don't believe in God."
Ms. Collie: "Of course you don't"
Alice: "Well, it wasn't even my idea. It was Mama B's."
Ms. Collie: "Of course it was."

Oopsie. Earth mother. Heh.

South, north, east, and west of nowhere — Jenny is working on her book (don't ask me what book: that must be another thing that was covered in the missing six months) in the dim light of a gay bar. Ordinarily writers like to actually be able to see what they're writing, but can you blame her?

The new butch character, Moira, sits down and announces that she's decided to go back to L.A. with Jenny. Moira's kinda cute, but when she talks, she sounds like... hmm, like somebody put the record on the wrong speed. The faster, reedier speed. Or like a slow leak.

Anyway, when Moira says she's going to L.A., Jenny lets out a whoop and a giggle and says "I'm excited." Are you? Really? Who could possibly have known? It's like the other day, when my cat puked in front of me: I was so confused. I really wish she could have said "I'm vomiting," so I wouldn't have had to read the mysterious signals.

Fantasy land — Carmen's mom is excited about an upcoming quinceañera. She has the perfect dress for Shane. Yes, I said dress. Carmen's mom leaves them alone for a bit, so of course Carmen and Shane make out as Shane puts on the dress. Shane. Shane in a dress. Shane in drag. My eyes, my eyes!

The cookies of love — Lara has made double lemon sugar cookies with lavender and rosemary. The weird thing about this is that yesterday I made sugar cookies and I dusted them with lavender sugar. I'm not making that up: why would I? It's not exactly cool. And these Dana/Lara kisses are not exactly cool either. Something's still kind of off. Maybe it's the fact that Alice is peering through the windows as they make out on the couch. Eeek.

Lara pauses for a minute to say that Dana has a lump in her breast, but Dana says it's been there forever and she's already had it checked out. We believe you, Dane.

Plotting — Jenny and Moira plan their escape as they dance. Moira talks, or slow-leaks, about web design and programming and other geeky things, when Jenny suddenly says "Are you thinking about having sex with me right now?" Well, no, I was thinking about web design and programming. But okay. (Moira has a similar reaction.) So they kiss, and Moira finds Jenny's scars under her ribs, and isn't fazed in the slightest when Jenny says they're self-inflicted. That's very cool of you, reedy Moira.

So they go back to Jenny's house. Yes, her parents' house. Of course, why not? It's not as if they're already annoyed and uncomfortable and might possibly be the last people in the world you'd want to have anywhere near any sexy thought or deed. Especially the gay ones.

But there they are, fucking on the bed, when Jenny's mom and stepdad decide to see what all the panting is about. And of course at first they think Moira is a guy, so when they realize she's not, Jenny's stepdad (Warren) kicks Jenny out of the house.

What is Jenny wearing? It's like an oil slick with straps. Or it sort of looks like that thing that killed Tasha Yar on Star Trek: The Next Generation. What? Don't tell me you didn't watch Star Trek, or you didn't dig Tasha a little. I won't believe you.

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