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They
continue to emote and do their poses, and of course
that includes standing back-to-back and then face-to-face,
just like the tarot reader predicted. And then Helena
is fully gobsmacked when she realizes Alice's car
is blue. I wonder what the chances are that someone
in your yoga class (in L.A.) will be bisexual and
brunette and drive a blue car? Probably not all that
slim, but let's let Helena have her fantasies. She
has so little else.
All
Alice can say is "you're a good friend,"
which is sort of like patting a porcupine and telling
it it's a good pet. She also does a phenomenal (as
in hilarious) job with her body language and facial
expressions what a wreck!
Alice
decides she needs more meds because they're only good
for five minutes and they're making her crazy. Perfectly
logical.
And
as Helena walks away slowly, dazed by all the tarot
coincidences, Alice sits in her unwashed blue car
and futzes with her keys and says "Fuck,"
and again I'm giggling in spite of how tragic it all
is.
Kenter
Garden Bette and Tina welcome the
social worker. Well, as much as you can welcome a
woman who's finding fault with everything you do.
Isn't Cynthia Stevenson great? I loved her on Dead
Like Me. Now there's a show I could watch for
hours, without ever wondering what the writers had
been smoking.
Has
Tina always looked this good, by the way? Damn.
Road
rage Alice, who's loopy on her meds,
passes Dana on the road and freaks out. Soon she's
screaming "fuck you" and Dana is calling
her cell to ask if she's insane. And then Alice gets
another call; it's Helena, wanting to know what Alice's
natural hair color is. Alice hmms and haws a lot,
not wanting to admit she's not really a blonde, and
too busy chasing Dana.
Alice
loses her target at a stoplight, so she clicks over
to Dana (who's been waiting on the phone for no apparent
reason) and asks Dana whether she's going to go straight
down Sunset or might turn off. Dana just hangs up.
It's not funny, I know, so why am I chuckling again?
I think it's because of Dana's goofy grimacey face.
Beauty
above safety The social worker (Roberta
Collie) spots lots of dangerous sculptures and hazardous
fireplace pokers and very sharp corners. But Bette
explains that baby-proofing is not as important as
letting Angelica develop her own intrinsic sense of
beauty.
Bette:
"I believe that children can learn what's
safe and not safe through tactile encounters. I
mean, at this age, she can't really grasp concepts:
she can only have experiences."
Roberta: "So you're planning
to let her put her hand in the fire?"
Bette: "Metaphorically."
Roberta: "I'll give you
a metaphor, Bette. Go ahead and throw yourself off
the 405 overpass. It'll hurt like hell, and damn
straight you won't do it again, 'cause you'll be
dead."
Wow
how many times do you suppose Bette has been
spoken to like that in her life? Three? But it's not
enough to keep Bette from saying that she hates baby
fences "really a lot." I would snicker,
but I'm too busy scowling at the idea that Bette would
put her kid in danger like this. Oh, right, I forgot
about that scary mobile from last season.
Home
sweet home It seems Jenny has been
recuperating at her mom and stepdad's house, which
is quite a nice house. And mom is Margot Kidder: hmm,
that's sort of fitting somehow.
Jenny
and her mom set the table; apparently this is Jenny's
last dinner in Skokie. Jenny says she's had her last
therapy session, but Mom is more interested in talking
about the young man who's coming to dinner.
Mom:
"What's wrong with Marshall? He's a mathematical
genius."
Jenny: "Nothing. Except
that he's a man, and I'm a "
Mom: "Don't start, Jenny.
We all know you were sick."
Jenny: "That wasn't part
of my sickness."
But
mom's not hearing any of it, surprise, surprise. We
couldn't have some sort of sympathetic parent on this
show, oh no. Well, except for Alice's mom, but she's
just a chicken-chasing pervert.
Speaking
of sympathetic parents Shane meets
Carmen's familia. (Didja hear that L Word theme en
español in the background?) Carmen's mom is
inquisitive and friendly, and Shane handles it fairly
well, even this:
Carmen's
mom: "Chane, Carmen says that
you're a hairdresser?"
Sh/Chane: "I am"
Carmen's mom: "Who does
your hair?"
Sh/Chane: "Oh, I do."
How
do you say "fraggle" in Spanish?
It's
a bit weird when Carmen's mom wants to know all about
Chane's family (in case you're wondering, there's
not really a "sh" sound in Spanish so it
often becomes "ch") and Chane talks about
being in foster care and all of that. Weird because
it doesn't seem to really matter much to anyone. But
it will be nice for Shane to feel like she has a family,
if indeed they continue to embrace her once they know
just who she is.
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