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The tank — There's a rubber ducky in the birthing tank. Bette helps Tina get in the tank — and when Bette says "C'mon, I've got you," I get a little light-headed. It's probably just the wonder of the Wilsons. Bette helps Tina get naked and it's all very stark and real and... real.

Back at the Wiltern — Alice is telling Dana that she made her feel bad. Dana apologizes profusely. It gets funny and sad:

Alice: "I'm turning into someone I can't stand."
Dana: "Who, your mother?"

Bwahahahahahahaha.

Alice: "Fuck you. I can't even fucking talk to you."
Dana: "Alice, come here. Look, I'm sorry. Okay? That was not even close to funny."

You're right, it wasn't: it went way past funny and right into "fucking hilarious."

Alice says she didn't know she was turning into someone smothering and needy and codependent — "I mean, gross, I can't think of anything worse." Aw. I can. A world without Alice in it would be worse.

Alice explains that it's gotten super intense super fast, and she's never felt this way. Dana smiles and says it's good. Alice says she feels like Lenny in Of Mice and Men. It's funny that Alice can't even remember Lenny's name, but Dana can. See how well they complement each other?

Alice: "And the worst thing is I can't even call my best friend and talk to her about it."
Dana: [pauses and shrugs] "I know."

Back in the tank — Davina tells Bette to "put her fingers there" and see if she can feel something. And indeed she can: the baby's head is right there. Wow.

Poltergeist land — Shane pours Carmen some wine. She's nervous; she says "this should probably breathe." The wine and the car door and the general chivalry are all too much for Carmen, so she says "I'm gonna go. Okay, bye" and turns to leave. But Lancelot Shane stops her.

Shane: "I don't want you to go."

And then the sex starts; they hug and Shane says "I miss the way you smell." Carmen seems kinda overwhelmed, and Shane, to her credit, is being honest and vulnerable. Get it on.

It would be good, if the poltergeist didn't have to interrupt. The music is all porny and dumb and the poltergeist is saying "Carmen Carmen Carmen" in Shane's voice and then "Shane Shane Shane?" in Carmen's voice. Ugh. I would like to just watch them have sex, thanks — you don't need to Cinemax it up for me.

Still, I like the kissage. They both seem very much into it, and there's even a wall involved at one point, briefly.

A rude interruption — It's weird to go from sex to birth. Or it's not. Anyway, here we are with Bette and Tina again, but this time it's a bit tense:

Bette: "What is that?"
Davina: "That's meconium. It means that the baby is in some distress."

Time to go to the hospital.

Back to the sex — Finally Shane and Carmen are both naked, and it's sorta hot except for that damn music.

At the end of it all, Shane says "I love you," and I believe her. Does Carmen? Stay tuned... in nine months or so, we'll find out. Or we'll skip over it entirely.

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