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And now for some more surrealism — Gloria's giving a speech. She starts it with "Remember when Emma Goldman said, 'If there's no dancing at the revolution, I'm not coming'?"

First of all, no, I don't think any (or at least not many) of us were alive when Emma Goldman said that. Second, I don't think that's quite what she said. Third, why are we trying to do this weird reality-meets-TV thing again? Gloria's still just being herself, giving a speech, but there's this weird whooping and cheering in the audience while she does. I think in the real world, most people just sit and listen when Gloria talks.

The cheering is too loud as Gloria says "There is a guy in the White House who represents all of those religious extremists that people came to this country to escape." Word. Too bad a lot of the escapers were religious extremists themselves.

But Gloria also says that we wouldn't now be having a backlash against the "great social justice movements" if we hadn't first had a frontlash. Yeah. She says some other stuff, but the crowd is too loud, and I think the real point is that we're all happy and womanly and empowered. Woo.

Kinnie Starr starts to do her spoken word thing, and I actually really dig her, so I hate that she's not getting a proper forum for this. But this is funny:

Shane: "Do you think you might want to come over after this? For a little while?"
Carmen: [ignoring her]
Carmen: [quickly] "For a little bit."

Hee.

Kinnie is saying "he penetrates me with his stare," which sends Jenny off on another carnival track.

And then, oh god, Betty is singing again. Damn, but that bass player really is cute. Find another band, Alyson!

The sad thing is that the guitar work is totally fine overall; it's the singing. Stop.Singing.Thanks. Kit is standing in the audience with her "mm hmm, whatever already" face.

Dana and Alice are chatting in the audience; Alice points out that Dana shouldn't say the thing between them is too fast, because she moved in with Toxic Tonya after like two days. Dana says yeah, that was part of the problem.

Dana: "I like this. I like... I like... I like you, I like us, I like the way—"
Alice: "You like me?"
Dana: "I'm crazy about you. You know that. I'm just, you know.. the other day you freaked me out."

Dana makes that hilarious bug-eyed whoa face that she has. Erin and Leisha, you're both so freakin' woefully underused on this show. Axe Betty and give the actors some damn screen time!!

Alice says "I can't believe you just said you like me." Alice, please, for the last time: let her go and get over here. No, truth is I still want these two together. It's getting deeper and it could be good.

Alice needs clarification; Dana says it's about that dinner with Lara — "It seemed like it made you a little crazy."

Crazy — Heart is here to sing Crazy On You, which is one of the best songs ever written or recorded or sung or heard. Do yourself the favor of learning how to play the main lick on the guitar before you die.

Also, if you know nothing about the Wilson sisters, lemme tell you that when they first started out, an asshole reporter said they were really lovers, not (or maybe in addition to) sisters. It was stupid and just a way to undercut two very talented musicians, and the only good thing about it was that it gave birth to the song "Barracuda." Or maybe that's all an urban legend, but the point is that Heart Kicks Ass.

Even Jenny knows this, as she gets all caught up in the pure talent onstage and seems to be Mia rather than Jenny. Shane and Carmen are loving it too. It falls apart a bit at the end as Jenny seems to interpret the "crazy" in the song as the crazy in her head, but I'll overlook it and listen to Ann and Nancy. You should see Nancy leap and kick live, and you should hear Ann wail. Okay, I'll stop. First can I say that my unrequited college love looked a lot like Ann Wilson? Yeah, I mean the way she looks now, not back in the '70s... anyway.

I think Nancy Wilson's t-shirt says "Get Your Kids Off Prozac." Ack. Not cool in front of Jenny.

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