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Afterwards, Alice and Dana hug Bette — have we ever seen Dana and Bette that close before? Jenny asks Shane what Gloria Steinem is doing there, and Shane's face seems to say, "Who's Gloria Steinem?"

And then Gloria introduces herself to Bette:

Gloria: "I'm Gloria. I was a friend of your father's."
Bette: "My father talked about you a lot."

She's Gloria Steinem! Wouldn't you at least say "Of course I know who you are"? Anyway, then we're back in the Great Moments in History slideshow, but this time Melvin is with Gloria Steinem and President Clinton. Somebody on the set was having a little too much fun with Photoshop.

At the caterer's station or whatever that spot in the room is called, Dana chats with Lara. Or flirts, actually. And she keeps looking back at Alice while she does it, just to make Alice even more suspicious.

Dana finally goes back to Alice, who decides this is a good time to ask Dana to move in with her.

Dana: "Wait. Are you serious?"
Alice: "Yeah."
Dana: "Al... I don't know."
Alice: "You don't know? Are you having doubts about us?"
Dana: "No! Oh my g— no! If anything, it's the opposite. Things are going so good right now."
Alice: "Do you wanna see other people? Because—"
Dana: "What? Alice, where did you get that from what I just said?"
Alice: "Okay."

Ack. I cannot take much more of this.

But this is worse: Bette is talking to Franklin and Leo. Franklin kind of hesitates when Bette says she'll be back next week. She asks him if there's something wrong; he tries to say it's not the time to discuss it, but she insists.

So yeah, they want to buy out her contract, and Leo has already essentially replaced her. Bette collects herself and makes him regret it.

Bette: "I have a baby on the way."
Franklin: "The settlement is gonna give you a nice cushion. And time for you to figure out what you might want to do next."
Bette: "I'll tell you what I'd like to do next. I'd like to fucking murder somebody. You, maybe. Or your friend Helena Peabody. That's nice, that's a really... nice thing to do to someone while their father's dying. You're a class act, Franklin."

Twist the knife, Bette. Twist it! More!

But don't you dare go back to work there, even if Peggy rescues you or something. Franklin's an ass and you should just go back to doing your own thing.

A meeting of the mindless — One of the Betty members (Alyson, the cute one) is chatting with Mark about "The Gloria Project." It's a thing with Betty and Gloria and Heart, and Mark is getting the chance to tape it. Why? They wouldn't already have all of that arranged? Ugh.

Wouldn't it have been funny if it had been Betty and Betty Friedan instead? No, not really.

And this isn't funny either: Our grrrls, minus Bette and Tina, plus Betty, are at a big table with Gloria Steinem.

Ezgirl/Elizabeth Ziff/Lwordemort/Poltergeist proliferater: "Look, Gloria, I've been begging you for fifteen years to sleep with me. And it's because I care about you and I love you. I don't want you to miss out. And I know, I know — not every feminist is a lesbian."

Gloria looks like she's thinking "Oh, you poor thing." And Kit looks like she's thinking "You must be some kind of an ass." What Kit says out loud is "Yeah, you're right, 'cause I haven't slept with a woman and I am definitely a feminist." Alyson says "Ditto for me." Why are all the cute ones straight?

Gloria: "But, you know, we're in a country where all feminists are lesbians, right?"
Dana: "And they think that all feminists are man-haters, so naturally they're lesbians, right?"
Gloria: "It's really bananas, because in my experience, it's the women who live with men who hate men. The lesbians can kind of take it or leave it alone; they're friends with men, right?"
Jenny: "Another big misconception is that if you're a lesbian, you're automatically a feminist. Whereas a lot of gay women that I know are absolutely not feminists, right?" [looking at Shane]
Carmen: "Well, that's for sure." [looking at Shane]
Shane: "Well, I like women!"

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