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Speaking of Alice and Dana — They're having sex again. You might be tired of it, but I'm not, especially not the sight of Alice's calf on Dana's shoulder. Yow. And especially not the way Alice kisses. Anyway, they're roleplaying again; this time maid and master. Alice knows how to do the French ooo la la thing. And Dana's wearing a sweater and glasses and looks rather mannish — or at least rather bookish.

In the heat of the moment (telling me what my heart meant), Alice says "I love you."

Dana: "Camille, I told you not to fall in love with me."
Alice: "No, this is me talking. I love you, Dana."

Camille? Ha. But Dana hesitates, and then opens her mouth to reply, but is saved by the doorbell. Alice looks through the peephole: it's Howie, Dana's little brother. They rearrange their clothes and their hormones as much as they can, and let him in. Howie gives his big sis a hug, and then sees Alice. He's no dummy:

Howie: "Whoa, Alice. Nice outfit."
Alice: "Yeah, I'm cleaning."

And she really is — pretending this is how she does the dusting. Never mind that she's using Dana's tie as a duster.

Dana wants to know how Howie found her:

Howie: "Are you kidding? Mom and Dad love to talk about how you gave up your bright future with Tonya for a dead-end relationship with her."
Dana: [to Alice] "Sorry."

Helena's falling pride — Helena and Tina are having dinner. Helena says Tina seems far away; Tina says she's just thinking about Melvin.

Tina: "I don't know what Bette's gonna do without him."
Helena: "Tina... I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's not really any of your concern anymore, is it?"
Tina: "Bette's still my family."
Helena: "Yes. I'm reminded of that often enough."

The server comes to take their plates, and Tina decides this is a good time to tell Helena that she wants to see other people.

Helena: "You mean you want to see Bette."

Well, who doesn't?

Helena pretends it's fine, that they weren't exclusive anyway; but I'm not buying it. I can see the hurt in Helena's eyes, and so can Tina, and we both feel kinda bad for her. Did I just say that?

The uninvited guest — It looks like Howie is planning to stay for a while, because his parents have been all up in his grill. He gets the impression that Alice and Dana are not that thrilled about the idea of him staying. Alice explains that it's "gay pride weekend, and we're kinda all up in that 'out and proud' thing." Howie says he'll just go with them to Pride.

Alice sits on some filing cabinets or something, in a very unladylike way, and I almost forget to listen to the dialogue because I'm drooling over the fact that she's likely commando under that French maid dress. Anyway, Alice explains that gay pride is for gay people. Dana puts an arm around Alice (and a hand on her thigh) and says "Gay..." and then points to Howie and says "Not gay." Howie sorta snorts and says "right."

What happened to my open-minded Alice? Why isn't she saying "hmm, who are we to say who's gay and who's not?" But it's hard to be open-minded when you've just been open-legged and didn't get to finish what you started.

Cooking something up — Jenny and Shane are chopping vegetables and talking about going to Pride and to the post-Pride party at The Planet. Alliteration is fun.

Mark shows up; he wants to stay one more night, even though he knows that they hate him. He says he would love to ask for their forgiveness, but probably wouldn't forgive himself, so there's no point. Sure there is, Mark. Do it anyway. Beg. Grovel.

Instead he says, "I don't know if you can relate to this, but it's like this terrible thing that I was doing suddenly became the best, truest thing that I had ever done."

Jenny: "What?"

Exactly. What else can she say? So Mark realizes he's a jerk and starts to go. Shane stops him and tells him he can stay one more night. I guess this is because Mark's tapes showed Shane some truth about herself, but I'm kinda with Jenny on this one. She's giving Shane a "what the fuck?" look.

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