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Speaking
of KCRW — It's Alice's show! It's called
"The Chart," and she does a funny little
plinking-three-notes-on-water-glasses thing every
time she says "The Chart." She's also doing
a nervous variation on her fakey radio voice. Dana
is there with a crazy-wide grin and too much eagerness;
she keeps interrupting Alice, which is not going over
well at all.
Alice:
"Today my special guest on The Chart is
my girlfriend, Dana Fairbanks. Now, Dana—"
Dana: [interrupting, grinning hugely]
"HI!!"
Oh,
damn, I still say these two are so funny. Every time
Dana interrupts, Alice says "okay" in a
terse snippy way. Hahahaha. Alice just wants to talk
about her "web of connectivity" and plink
the water glasses. And Dana just wants to grin, and
stare at the mike almost as if it's a camera, and
whisper "sorry" at Alice as if the mike
won't pick it up. Alice even actually puts her hand
over Dana's mouth. It's hard to recap when you're
snorting.
Jenny's
herstory — Jenny is looking at old family
photos and making a tape and thinking out loud, and
asking her mom questions (via the tape) about Zayda
and Grandma and the Torah and Auschwitz. Okay, now
I'm getting annoyed, because this stuff is really
very important if you're Jenny (or if you're anyone
with a family, probably), but the stupid background
music is pissing me off, and now Carmen's interrupting
to make it all seem kind of weird.
Carmen
just wants to say hi, and Jenny is feeling kind of
like she has nothing to lose, so she tells Carmen
to come in. And she points to the camera and explains
what she's doing, so Carmen flashes that gorgeous
smile and says "Hello, Mrs. Schecter" to
the camera. Yeah, I know, Carmen's kind of a mess
lately, but I still like her anyway.
Carmen
wants to know if Jenny has packed and if she wants
help, but Jenny is all verklempt and says she's decided
not to go on the trip. She wants Carmen to go have
a good time with Shane, which of course confuses Carmen.
But Jenny talks about truth and work and whatever
is motivating her (and keeps saying "about"
and "gotta" in a way that reminds me she's
Canadian).
Carmen:
"Well, okay, here's a truth. I would like
to go with my girlfriend. So, you know—"
Jenny: "Who's that?"
Ouch.
More
inappropriate touching in public — Tina
is trying on a fabulous (if you're into that stuff)
gown. Helena wants to get the straps adjusted so that
Tina shows more cleavage or something — I'm not
quite sure what she wants, because all I really know
is that she's pawing Tina's titanic tits again. Down,
girl!
Tina
is not impressed with the gown; she doesn't think
an extravagant gown goes with an award for community
service. But Helena doesn't want to hear about what
she can and cannot spend her own money on, because
her money is all she's got. Also, you see those skinny
arms? I could snap that pea-body in half.
Three
kinds of trouble — Shane is sauntering
by Jenny's room, so Jenny tells her to come in. Carmen
tells Shane that Jenny doesn't wanna go on the cruise,
and all three of them proceed to bicker like 8-year-olds,
about who's going and who's not going and even who's
not going if someone else is not going, and Jenny
puts a stop to it all with this:
Jenny:
"I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna
go. We're gonna be a fucking threesome, man."
Carmen
and Shane and I are uncomfortable.
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