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Then
Tina starts to go on about Helena needing an audience,
and screams out the doors to tell the neighbors they're
about to have sex and everyone's invited to watch.
The way she's hollering reminds me so much of Randy
Dean in The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls
in Love, it makes me giggle. But it's really
kinda sad, because, as Helena says, this seems to
be a case of hormones raging out of control.
Helena
finally goes, which is not cool, because Tina probably
doesn't really need to be alone right now. But the
one she probably needs has left the building.
Therapy
Bette is telling that icky Foxworthy
dude about the hot sex, and is wondering whether the
friendship she was forging with Tina is now all fucked
up, and what it all means.
Bette:
"I don't think it means she wants to get
back together with me."
Foxworthless: "Do you
want to be back together with her?"
Bette: [long pause and pained look]
"I don't know."
Yeah.
That was the right answer, Bette, and not just because
I think you should come over to my house tonight.
Foxworthless:
"How did it feel, having sex with her?"
Bette: "It was fucking
amazing. It was just fucking amazing. It was like
all of the reasons that we fell apart just disappeared,
and it was like I had... it was like I had my life
back for just one second... and it was also really
sad."
Foxworthless: "Sad. How
so?"
Bette: "Because I've lost
her. Because we don't... well, like she doesn't
belong to me anymore. Like I could feel someone
else had been touching her and making love to her,
and I felt that other person, and I felt her connection
to that other person, you know? And she did things
that we had never done together, and it was like
she was so... free."
And
Bette admits that she always treated Tina gingerly,
and that Tina's not even a little bit fragile now,
and it was all kind of shocking. And of course she
knows that's a good thing: "it just means she
doesn't need me anymore."
Sigh.
First of all, how fucking amazing is Jennifer Beals?
No, whatever you said, it's not enough: she's even
more amazing than that.
Second,
I don't think Bette and Tina are ready to be back
together yet. Again, that's not just because Bette
is moving in with me tomorrow.
Mistress
of her domain There's Dana. She's
in the sunglasses again, but she's walking tall, going
right into the sex toy shop to stare down the dildos
and wrangle them into submission. Get ready, Alice:
it's gonna be a bumpy night! And I mean that in the
good way. I don't know whether I'm jealous of Dana
or Alice. Perhaps I should grab a few of my own favorite
silicone friends and make myself comfortable on that
big happy orange bed.
Mark's
studio Jenny needs the Burr Connor
DVDs that Mark borrowed. He's not home, but she doesn't
care: she goes right in and snoops. She finds a tape
labeled "Shane/Carmen love confession" and
can't resist.
The
C.A.C. of Helena's iron fist Bette
and someone else are looking at art and talking about
art and doing other arty things. Helena swaggers in,
offering money as usual, saying that she doesn't want
money to be a deciding factor on any creative decision.
What? But you do want money to be a deciding factor
on everything else, right? Like, I dunno, sex, and
houses, and children? But not art. Gotcha.
Bette,
who is wearing that foxy suspendered outfit we've
been seeing in the promos right before the episodes
air, doesn't want to show Helena the budget without
showing it to the whole board. Actually, she probably
doesn't want to show Helena anything, despite yet
another plunging neckline that highlights her assets.
But
Helena refuses to play nice, so she just sits and
says "I'm just going to sit here and listen for
a while." It's okay, Bette: just stand there
and look amazing. It's enough.
The
studio of cruelty Jenny's watching
the tape and hearing Carmen say that stuff about not
knowing the real deal and about being lost in her
own darkness. I know Jenny shouldn't complain
after all, she didn't have to watch the damn thing
but I still feel kinda sorry for her. It's
a horrible thing to say, that someone wouldn't recognize
love. Love is one of those fundamental things; we
all know how to feel it, and how to express it, and
how to hope it lasts forever. Even Jenny. Even goddamn
fucking Mark.
Sorry.
For a minute there, I almost evanesced.
Blah
blah Helena calls Tina and commands
her to come over to the beach house tonight.
Tina:
"Are you sure you wanna see me? What if
I have some sort of hormonal fit?"
Haha!
Tina also says Helena needs to understand that Tina's
not a toy or a raging hormonal lunatic. Oh, Tina.
If we're going to start with what Helena needs to
understand, we'd better back up to basic things like
"people are people" and "money can't
buy you love." I don't think there's a school
for this stuff.
But
Tina agrees to see Helena anyway. Terrific.
Kickboxing
or whatever Burr is working out, and
I suspect it's supposed to be homoerotic, but it's
just homoboring.
Jenny
is sorta watching, but mostly crying. Burr realizes
something's wrong, and gives her a hug, despite her
silly protests that everything's fine and she really
just has such bad hayfever. Okay, Burr, that's kinda
cool of you.
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