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Charlotte explains why Jenny and Burr are perfect for each other:

Charlotte: "You are a compulsive excavator of your own emotional navel lint."

Holy fucking evanescent evisceration. I could not have said that better myself, Ms. Bernhard.

But then Charlotte goes too far, telling Jenny she's a "nit-picking obsessive truth-teller. And Burr could stand a bit of literary pediculosis."

Eww! Almost grosser than the toilet weirdness. Jenny says "ew" too, which makes me giggle.

Charlotte: "Hmm. Did that hit a little too close to home? Are we self-loathing body mutilators as well?"
Jenny: "Of course."
Charlotte: "I can't wait to read about that in one of your stories. I hope you're not a cutter."

This reminds me: there's a prefrenchious movie called In My Skin that haunts me every day. Don't see it.

Jenny just snickers at Charlotte, because we all know that Charlotte's kind of flirting. And then Charlotte gets serious and says Jenny really must work with Burr, because Jenny has a gift for telling the details of a life lived. Even if they are the details of a homophobe.

The sex toy shop — Dana and Alice are shopping. Well, Alice is shopping, and Dana is sorta wearing shades and pretending she's not really there. An over-helpful salesperson shows up and starts talking about diameters and realism, which are two rather important things to consider in dildo-land. Alice notices a double-ended vibrator. The salesperson says those are very popular, but it isn't quite right:

Alice: "No?"
Dana: "No."
Alice: "Yeah, I kinda want you to... you know?"
Dana: "Yeah."
Alice: "Anyway."

And the Emmy for saying the most while saying so very little goes to...

The salesperson continues to point out the options, which have names like King Kong and Randy, and come in many colors, including hot pink (Alice's ears perk up) and combination marble swirl and disco glitter (ooh! says Dana, though I'm not sure whether she likes the marble or the glitter). And some of them even come in camouflage:

Dana: "In case you're screwing in a war zone."

Alice and Dana both agree that the ones that come with hairy balls are "just wrong." Dana picks up a butt plug and does a Fonzie thumbs-up heeeeyyyy thing, until the salesperson tells her it's a butt plug. It's a whole new world for Dana.

Salesperson: "If you use [the butt plug] with a harness, you can detach the dildo, and leave the butt plug inside while you do other things."
Dana: "What, like the dishes?"

And then it's time to talk about lube, but Alice thinks she's allergic to the kind the salesperson offers. This bugs Dana, who wants to know what Alice hasn't done. Alice says "I haven't done lots of things. I wanna do them with you." Awww! Romance amongst the silicone!

But it's short-lived: a couple of customers come in, and Dana recognizes one of them, so she turns up her collar and puts on her sunglasses, while Alice goes off to browse the cock rings.

I can't make fun of this: it's too cute and funny and I still adore these two together.

The ultrasound — Bette and Tina are all smiles and sweetness. Bette says, "Oh, it's like she's waving at us! Look!" And then Bette takes Tina's hand and I am all smiles and sweetness myself.

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