|
The L Word
recap: Late, Later, Latent (season 2, episode
9)
(Original airdate: 17 Apr 2005)
THIS
WEEK'S L WORD VOCABULARY:
-
Limits: What Dana tests and Carmen
exceeds.
-
Pediculosis: Another way to say
eww.
-
Amazing: What Bette and Tina redefine.
-
Somber: This episode. Cut the recapper
some slack, will ya? It was hard to find the funny.
THIS
WEEK'S GUEST-BIANS: Camryn Manheim dishes
out more than anyone can take; Tony Goldwyn shows
his hair of many colors (TM msgulp); Kelly
Lynch curses the day she signed up for this.
Golden
showers — Someone's in the shower. That's
usually a good sign, but this person is getting out
of the shower to pee. Yes, it's Jenny, and apparently
she points her toes while she pees. No, I don't know
why. But it gets worse: Carmen gets out of the shower
too and says she has to pee, and Jenny says she'll
be just a sec. But Carmen's impatient and also unsanitary,
so she straddles Jenny and says "I want you to
spread your legs," and what happens next is not
entirely clear. Either Carmen is fucking Jenny while
Jenny pees, or Carmen is peeing while Jenny pees,
and either one is just yuck. I think maybe it's the
latter, though I hate to say it.
Let
this be a lesson to us all: always pee before you
get in the shower. Even if you don't think you have
to go — make yourself try. It's for the best.
Meanwhile,
Mark's standing outside the bathroom wondering what's
taking so long, 'cause he has to pee in a normal non-sexual
way. And Shane is there to help, so she knocks on
the door. No one answers, of course, so Shane barges
in, and is as flabbergasted as you and I by the idea
that two people would be anywhere near a toilet together.
So she tells Mark to use the bushes, and I think I
will too from now on. Unless Jenny is lurking in them.
A
sad attempt at filmmaking — Mark is
showing his footage to the producer dude (or whatever
you call the hack who funds a film called "Wild
Women of Encino"). Mark's "documentary"
is called A Compendium of Lesbianism (Volume I), and
it takes everything out of context and makes it look
stupid. The only good part is when Dana and Alice
stare at the camera and Dana says "I'm Dana.
Fairbanks." and Alice is wearing those glasses.
Dana tries to introduce Alice, but stumbles over Alice's
last name. Hee! And then Alice says, "I don't
miss it. No, there's ways and things. Ha ha."
Dana hides in embarrassment. Cuteness.
Carmen
de la Pica Morales also gives her life story, or at
least the story of her first love, whom of course
she stole from a guy. It's kinda trite.
The
hack producer doesn't like Mark's attempt at artistry
and threatens him with breach of contract because
the contract calls for pussy, not anthropology. Cut.
The
happy orange bed — Alice wants to know
whether Dana's thought about it yet. You know, IT.
"Oh, you mean the sex toys," says Dana,
as Alice takes off Dana's boots and socks in a slow
sexy way.
Dana:
"Can I ask you something?"
Alice: "Yeah. Ask away."
[slides Dana towards her in that reverse-plow-like
maneuver]
Dana: "Is it a bisexual
thing? You tryin' to have your cake and eat your
pussy too?"
Alice: "No. It's not a
bisexual thing."
Dana: "Okay, good. Because
wait, I don't want to do that with you. I mean,
if you're trying to make me into a man because you
think that there's something missing, then I want
you to go ahead—"
Alice: "Dana. Many bona
fide lesbians find strapping it on the ultimate
way of fucking. And I think it would be really hot
for you to fuck me like that. Okay?"
Yo.
I find it really hot for Alice to be kind of undulating
while she says this stuff. Leisha, you've seen that
scribegrrrl@afterellen.com
link at some point, I presume? And you're waiting
for what, exactly?
Helena's
boudoir — Helena is on the phone, asking
Winnie why she thinks any judge would give her the
kids when they've got the option of being with their
Hellishly rich mum who can give them oh so many opportunities
and oh so much priggish pompousness. (The last part
was me again.)
Tina's
in bed, waking up and not exactly enjoying the cacophony
of Helena's strident barking. I think I just saw an
eye roll.
For
those of you who think I enjoy tank tops in all forms,
I submit that Helena's tank top does nothing for me.
Well, not "nothing" — more like "nausea."
1
/ 2 / 3 / 4
/ 5 / 6 -
Next |
