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The cocoon — Dana is watching a cooking show. Alice reaches over and mutes the TV — oh, no, Alice, you can't do that at my house. I don't care how cute your glasses are.

Alice is still trying to come up with an idea for KCRW, but it's just not working. Dana's trying to be nice about it, but she's also cool enough to tell the truth:

Dana: "I don't know. Al, it's good, it's just... it's not funny."
Alice: "It's not supposed to be funny. Hello, have you listened to KCRW?"
Dana: "Yeah, but didn't Mimi ask you personally to try out for this?"
Alice: "So?"
Dana: "So, she must want you to be you."
Alice: "No, I'm not going to be a funny person on the radio. I don't know why everybody thinks I'm so funny."
Dana: "Because you are. Alice, you're a funny lady. And it's one of the things I love about you, and I'm not the only one."
Alice: "I don't like you very much right now."

Instead of letting Alice pout, Dana takes Alice's notebook and pen and puts them down. She says "It makes me so hot when you're angry" and begins to make things a bit more comfy on the couch. Soon Alice's legs are wrapped around Dana's waist, and Alice snickers:

Alice: "You're totally topping me again."
Dana: "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you through the feathers, pillow queen."
Alice: "Have you always been a top?"
Dana: "I'm not a top."
Alice: "Yeah you are."
Dana: "Nuh uh."
Alice: "Yeah you are."
[pause]
Alice: "You know what I want you to do?"
Dana: "What?"
Alice: [low, in Dana's ear] "I want you to fuck me really hard with a strap-on."
Dana: "I don't know if I could do that."
Alice: "But you're doing it right now without even using one."
Dana: [smooch] "Okay."
Alice: "Yeah?"
Dana: "Twist my arm."

Funny, sexy, sweet, intimate, and either promising or ominous: there's absolutely nothing to say. Except this: Dana, I do believe you've just been topped from the bottom.

The pool — Winnie is making her case: she wants Bette to be a character witness against Helena. Bette says she'd like nothing better, but it's kinda complicated, with Tina and the C.A.C. and blah blah blah. At one point Bette says "fuckin'" while she's splashing around with Jun Ying. Winnie clears her throat, and Bette says "I'm sorry" — and turns to Jun Ying and whispers "that was BAD." Yep, a very good mom she'll be indeed, or so it seems.

Avoidanceville — Carmen's walking down the hall at Shane and Jenny's house. Shane's door opens a little, but then closes right away. So Carmen barges in and asks Shane why she's hiding, and then takes Shane's sunglasses off and sees her black eye.

Carmen: "Who did this to you?"
Shane: "You did it."
Carmen: "What? Fuck you."

Carmen tries to leave, but Shane stops her and apologizes. Carmen wants to know exactly what Shane meant by it, but Shane just wants to forget it all and go back to being friends.

Carmen: "Is that what you want?"
Shane: "Really a lot."

Nobody believes you, Shane. Especially not when the tension between you and Carmen practically melts everyone's TV.

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