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Playing
house — Tina tells Helena's kids it's
a nice day and they shouldn't be spending it staring
at the TV. I wish I'd listened to my mom when she
said things like that. Moms, don't let your babies
grow up to be recappers.
Tina's
brought art supplies for the kids, and is ready to
play with them, but Helena interrupts: "Tina
has to come and spend a little time with Mama."
Whoa. Look at Helena's stomach. And look at Tina —
she just licked her lips!
Tina
has to come, indeed: she and Helena go out on the
roof and have sex. Meanwhile, Helena's ex has arrived.
She asks her kids where Helena is. They probably don't
give her the proper directional signal, which would
be "down." 'Cause Helena's head is between
Tina's legs. Helena's ex strolls out onto the roof
and just sort of stands there and watches for a bit.
Tina finally realizes she's putting on a show, and
sort of sighs and tries to cover herself. That's her
reaction? If I were in her position, so to speak,
I'd end up making my lover's ears ring, because I'd
slap my knees together faster than Helena can say
"cacophony."
Helena
just looks annoyed, wipes off her mouth, and says
"Tina, meet my ex, Winnie Mann."
Winnie
Mann? Really? Somebody wasn't thinking — either
her parents or the L Word writers. Hmm, I
wonder which.
Where
have I seen Winnie before? Did she play a cowboy in
something? Or is that just how she's behaving at the
moment?
Turns
out the kids were due back with Winnie that morning.
Winnie's not happy. That might be because she actually
started a family with Helena, and now understands
that it would have been smarter to start a family
with Michael Jackson.
Tina
interrupts their row (that's "quarrel" to
you jingoistic Americans who don't travel enough1)
to get her stuff and get the hell out of there. Helena
wants Tina to stay, but Tina would rather throw herself
at a sushi-eating tie-wearing kissing-impaired unethical
lawyer than hang around for this. Or maybe I just
hope that's how she's feeling. Either way, she's suddenly
remembered that she needs to go hear the big announcement
at the Planet.
Veronica
Bloom's house — Shane is emptying a
packet of something into a glass of water. I hope
it's not that Emergen-C stuff, because that stuff
tastes weird. Whatever it is, I hope it will help
Veronica's polka-dotted peeled face.
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