The L Word recap: Luminous (season 2, episode 7).
(Original airdate: 3 Apr 2005)

THIS WEEK'S L WORD VOCABULARY:

• Gamine: The quintessential Jenny.
• Peoria: The anti-Jenny.
• Studio visit: A fancy term for foreplay. Almost.
• Phone-throwing: A common hobby among alpha types.
• Meat-tagged: How the masses (I include myself among them) see Bette.

THIS WEEK'S GUEST-BIANS: Sandra Bernhard shows her cards; Camryn Manheim asks the ultimate question; Charles S. Dutton is mercifully missing.

First things first, to my British readers (the few I have left) — Helena herself told me I should never apologize or explain, so I won't. Instead I offer this: I've had some fantastically great sex in your country — positively earth-shattering sex. Phenomenally brilliant sex. Have I mentioned the sex was great? That's the generalization I'll always make: Britain = really good sex and gorgeous women. Hello to the many of you who've given me such a warm welcome during my sojourns there.

Now, for the love of Monty Python, let's move on to something completely different, shall we?

Moulin Mockery — We're in les Rues Montmartre, in "some other time," and Sandra Bernhard is walking with a guy (oh, the guy who plays Hunter the hunky student) who wants to know what kind of woman she likes. Sandra's playing it up, and I still dig her, so I'm liking every word and every look as she peruses the prostitutes.

A stupid French version of the theme song is playing in the background. How many versions are there? Can we look forward to more? And by "look forward" I mean that feeling you get when you realize you're about to hit a squirrel on the road and there's nothing you can do about it. Or maybe I mean how the squirrel feels when it realizes it's about to get hit.

Charlotte-in-some-other-time stops before a Brazilian beauty:

Sandra/Charlotte/Madelaine: "What about her? She looks like she could be wild and crazy."
Hunter/French guy: "She's not a she, Madelaine."

The important part of this is how hilarious Sandra is, as she tosses her head back whilst saying "wild and craaaaaayzy." And how she tosses it back again to laugh at the silly mistake she's made.

Ta-da, there's Jenny, or the Rues-Montmartre-some-other-time equivalent of Jenny, and I'm trying as hard as I can to not find her kinda cute. This whole damn thing is so prefrenchious. But if it means that Charlotte might splay Jenny across her desk after class someday, then I'm all over it.

The Hunter guy sees Jenny and calls her "a little gamine, but she's nasty." There are probably no better words for Jenny, and I wish I'd thought of them first.

(For those of you who don't have a good dictionary, here's a definition of gamine: "a girl of ingratiating qualities, typically slight build, and a pert saucy air or a wistful elfish charm." See? Perfect.)

I don't speak French, but a friend tells me that Jenny's accent isn't bad. What I know to be good is the way Sandra stares as Jenny asks (prefrenchiously in French) "What about your lady friend? Does she want me? Am I going to satisfy her?" — and the way Sandra lights her cigarette in response and then nods ever so slightly and waves out the lighter. Hello.

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