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Here we fucking go again — Jenny is writing again, so we get another weird scene. She turns the silence assignment into a yawny three-ring circus, in which she is a silent ballerina with a harlequin face. Charlotte Birch is the ringmaster, Carmen is the multi-armed "beautiful temptress" (think Shiva, but not) and Shane is a dorky-looking lion tamer — make that "temptress tamer." As the tamer kisses the temptress, Jenny the silent droopy mopey harlequin ballerina falls off her highwire perch to the cold hard ground. Jeremy Podeswa must wish he were directing the real Carnivale at this point.

Some stuff I won't recap properly — Mark gives Kelly the Delivery Girl a copy of the Shane sex tape. Kelly sorta has the hots for Shane and doesn't want Mark to use the tape. I sorta hate Mark and don't want him to be on this show.

The tournament — Alice and Shane and Tonya watch Dana play. Tonya notices that "Melissa Rivers is out of water and her celebrity handler is just sitting there." While she gets up to tend to Melissa, Alice asks Shane to review the breakup script she's written for Dana.

Shane: "Alice. It's karmically wrong. And it's gonna come back at you if you and Dana wind up together."
Alice: "All right: Yoda needs to give me some better advice here or Yoda needs to shut the fuck up."

T.O.E. jam revisited — Bette has agreed to go to the seminar — not for herself, but to support Kit, which is a nice accompaniment to that patience she was practicing earlier.

Kit: "It's transformative. And if you don't mind me saying, you could use a little transformin' right about now."
Bette: "Please do not use that self-help jargon on me. I will barf."

Oh no! Bette is patient and supportive and funny! How am I supposed to defend myself against this? Also, the suit she's wearing is damn hot. Bette is the only one who has not suffered under the new fashion regime.

As they walk in, Kit stops in front of the picture of Benjamin and says "Wait until you hear him speak. There's somethin' 'bout the way he moves his body on stage." Oh, you mean sorta the way a Coke machine with arms might move? In other words, not at all, except for the flailing and gesturing? 'Cause that's what I'm seeing. I'm also drooling a little from the boredom.

But then Benjamin starts talking about vulnerability, which strikes a chord in Bette. So she takes some notes. Kit feels all proud about this, not knowing that Bette is thinking about Tina — not enlightenment or entrepreneurship or whatever.

Why does Charles S. Dutton pronounce everything wrong? First there was "sybaritic," and now "invariably." Shouldn't a speaker be able to speak?

A pre-breakup hallway — Alice is reminding me of the Fashion Plates Activity Set I had when I was a kid — I swear I used my amazing colored pencil skills to create that exact outfit in 1978.

Alice offers Dana her script, but Dana declares it "horrible" and "hideous" because it says "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to marry you." C'mere, Alice. That's not hideous: it's hilarious.

So Alice tells Dana to "improv" instead, and Dana does, while Alice the fashion plate waits outside.

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