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Breakfast
— Jenny is trying to figure out whether Carmen
is interested in her, so she's asking Shane about
it while Mark eavesdrops.
Jenny:
"Okay, when you went out with her, like,
was she just kind of like, I don't know, reticent?"
Well,
I know I would be reticent if I were on a date with
Jenny. Reticent, and clawing my own eyes out with
the salad fork.
Mark
leaps to conclusions about lesbians "sharing
chicks." Shane reminds Mark that she doesn't
date Carmen anymore. Mark wants to know how Shane
gets girls to go home with her — "Doesn't
your reputation precede you by this point?" —
and I really want Shane to say "It does. That's
how." Instead, she asks Mark how he gets girls
to go home with him, and I sing the Fraggle Rock
song as loudly as I can while Mark answers.
Shane
says that the most important thing (where women are
concerned, not fraggles) is to listen, and to not
talk too much. Mark suggests that Shane show Jenny
exactly how it's done, by having a threeway.
Shane:
"I hate to tell you this, Mark, but...
I don't fuck my roommates."
Jenny
smiles a rather smug smile at that. Also, Mark, if
there is going to be a threeway on this show, it is
going to be between me, Alice, and Bette. Or me, Alice,
and Dana. Or me, Bette, and Kit. No. That is wrong.
It's wrong!
The
Planet — Dana is waiting anxiously for
Alice. When Alice arrives, Dana reminds her that "Tonya's
meeting is only a couple of hours," and asks
if they can go back to Alice's place — and she
does so with a very very cute smile. But Alice isn't
swayed:
Alice:
"Dana... I'm not gonna do this with you."
Dana: "You're not gonna
do what?"
Alice: "I'm not gonna
sneak around with you. I'm not gonna be your secret
lover, your back-door woman..."
Dana: "Wha.... happened?"
Dana
says "happened" in a really small voice,
as if she knows that of course she shouldn't expect
any of that stuff from Alice anyway. Alice explains
that she wants Dana to leave Tonya, but Dana says
she can't do that right now because of the tournament
tomorrow — "Tonya set up the whole thing."
Alice says "gross" and starts to leave.
Dana
calls her back, and gets all cute and mushy and takes
Alice's hand and says she really, really wants to
be with Alice. And because Alice is a sweet sappy
romantic, she sighs and asks Dana to break up with
Tonya after the tournament. Dana nods and begins to
play footsie with the hottest thing in The Planet.
And Dana actually has a very sweet, loving look on
her face, so I'll forgive her this time.
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