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The T.O.E. aftermath — Bette confesses that the vulnerability stuff hit home. Benjamin gets all personal about the Tina and baby stuff, and tells Bette to pick some flowers herself and give them to Tina, and to say "you hold all the cards." Hmm. It just might work.

On the way out, Bette calls Benjamin a "fuckin' circus performer." Even if he does sometimes say something useful:

Bette: "I find something for me in the Vogue horoscope too. That doesn't mean it's not bullshit."

That explains why I can find meaning in this show and still hate myself in the morning.

The locker room of doom — Dana finds a very nice way to break up with Tonya. She says that she confused gratitude with love, and the whole speech is quite believable and kind. Tonya gets a weird look on her face, and we soon find out why: Tonya and Melissa Rivers have fallen in love, and Tonya was going to break up with Dana.

Melissa Rivers. Ewww. But it's kinda funny. Dana asks the inevitable:

Dana: "Are you even gay? Melissa?"
Melissa: "Well, I like to think of myself as label-free. I mean, love is love, and I've fallen in love with Tonya the person, not the gender."

Tonya the person (huh?) leaves Dana to have some "time to absorb" and goes off with Melissa. I think Tonya and Melissa probably deserve each other.

All kinds of new experiences — First, before we get to the good stuff, I must complain about the blatant Absolut product placement. Is it referenced in every episode, or does it just seem like it? Anyway, right now I'm seeing a giant glowing Absolut-shaped billboard thingy, as the camera finds its way to Helena and Tina at the swank Peabody dinner, which is on the rooftop of the Chateau Marmont. Wow.

Helena and Tina do that furtive gaze thing. Helena eventually leaves the table, and Tina's cell phone rings shortly thereafter. Yes, it's Helena, coaxing Tina away:

Helena: "Don't these boring, pretentious dinners make you really horny?"
Tina: "Where are you?"
Helena: "Waiting for you to come and show me another side of Tina."
Tina: "And what side would that be?"
Helena: "The side that wants to walk away from that table this very second. I'll be waiting for you by the pool."

Tina thinks she needs an excuse, which makes no sense, if Helena herself thought it was fine to disappear for a bit.

Another poolside — Bette is pondering the T.O.E. vulnerability stuff, and decides she might as well try the flower thing. She's taking it very seriously, and selecting flowers with care. My heart begins to break for her all over again. Dammit.

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