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I think it's hot, even though it's also goofy — but to me, funny is sexy. It takes Alice a while to get Dana's too-tight pants off, and when she gives them the final tug, Dana falls off the end of the couch. You have to see it — this sort of primo physical comedy does not really lend itself to description. Actually, the script must have looked funny: "Take my pants off." "They're tight." "Get it off." "I can't. It's tight." "Don't rip it." It's as if they can't quite believe what they're doing, so they have to narrate, and direct each other. Or maybe it's just that they're both silly and hyper and adorable.

They finally manage to disrobe each other. I now understand what Dana means, because I think I've just had my own conversation with Alice's tits. I love the alternating heat and hilarity — Alice asking for more, and then having to explain "more fingers" (who knows what Dana was trying to do; maybe stick her tongue down Alice's throat); and Alice bouncing on Dana's lap in the chair (her face a gorgeously tense picture of fuck me) and then falling to the floor with a thud just as solid as Dana's tumble off the couch.

And I can't help but love the shot of what happens on the floor in front of that chair. It would be easier to draw a diagram, but I'll try to describe it: the camera is behind the chair, and it's panning left to right so that we get to see what's on either side of the chair, but not what's right in front of it. Oh, forget it: the point is that we see legs and arms on one side, and legs and a head on the other side — and they're in a nice little arrangement that looks almost like 6 next to 9. Well, or at least like a big "O" or two or three.

The 9 1/2 Weeks-esque strawberry/fridge scene is cute — Dana is blindfolded, and Alice squirts the whip cream down the front of Dana's tank top. I'll say it again: funny is sexy, and these two are fucking adorable when they're fucking. It's my best birthday present ever. Well, except for that year that Bette jumped out of the cake. What? Okay, that didn't happen, but now you know what to get me next year.

Priscilla the Russian prostitute — I kinda like this woman's intense look. And she seems to like Shane. Priscilla asks Shane what she does for the movies, and Shane describes herself as a "hairstylist... and I guess I'm kind of Veronica's assistant too." Shane is nice, and admits that she used to "trick around Santa Monica Boulevard," and that's probably what clinches the deal. But Shane doesn't quite know what to say when Priscilla asks if Veronica is "okay."

In the limo, Veronica tosses Shane around like a rag doll and barks about how brilliant they all are. Maybe Shane is going along with this because she knows Veronica could crush her. It reminds me of when I was in 8th grade and the volleyball coach used to kind of throw me around and roughhouse with me, far too much for a proper student-teacher relationship. Shane, just do what I did: tell her you have to be home for dinner or your mom won't let you go to the away games. Wait. Don't do that: Veronica would probably toss you right out of the limo.

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