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Bubblicious
— Tina's in the tub. There's a knock at the door.
Tina quickly scoops up some bubbles to cover her voluptuousness.
Wait. Do I see Dove soap? Yes, and it's no
surprise that it's obviously unused: I don't think
Tina gets her creamy complexion from that crap.
Bette's
there to give Tina some fresh towels. Why, oh why,
does my cursed brain instantly flash to Kim and Kerry?
Anyway, Bette is being respectful, and trying not
to peek under the bubbles. As Bette goes, Tina says
there's something they need to talk about, maybe later,
if Bette will be home tonight. Bette says, "I
will be if you want me to be," which is entirely
the right answer.
Real
lesbians — Mark is talking to his camera,
explaining that he hasn't "hit it" yet with
his roommates because they're "real lesbians."
He pauses and declares himself "fuckin' lame,"
which causes me to sigh deeply with relief —
because if he keeps recapping himself like that, I
won't have to bother.
The
C.A.C. — Bette lays out a new plan for
James, regarding Tina's apartment hunt. She wants
him to "take his time." Why do I keep not-quite-recognizing
James? He must be a little too... hmm... BORING BORING
BORING.
I
adore the delight on Bette's face as she tells James
that Tina has moved back home. Oh, Bette: let me get
you some fresh towels. You're going to need them for
all the tears.
He
must be more charming in real life —
Jenny and Shane arrive home with their Whole Foods
goodies, and walk right into another surprise video
shoot. Mark starts talking as fast as he can, trying
to explain his new project, which is apparently supposed
to educate the world in the ways of lesbianism. Shane
and Jenny eat bagels while he babbles on. I get distracted,
because I keep hearing little "uh-huhs"
from Jenny, but her lips aren't moving — it's
that damn poltergeist again!
Jenny
— with her lips moving — says "I think
that there's a lot of I's contradicting the
we's in your run-on sentence." Yeah,
you're the expert on grammar and logic, Miss Eviscerated
Dismantled Evanescent Carnival Freak.
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