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Elsewhere, Tonya sneaks up behind Dana and covers her eyes with her hands. Dana looks thoroughly unsure whether she's being accosted by Tonya or Alice, and I think we all know what she's hoping. Alas, it's Tonya, telling Dana it's time for her bachelorette lap dance. Dana says no, not with her mom there — not realizing that Sharon is happily getting her own lap dance at that very moment, with Dottie egging her on.

Also elsewhere, Bette (showing us her fabulous back again) asks Shane and Alice how long they've known that Tina's pregnant. (By the way, I almost like Shane in her Dean Martin-ish suit.) Bette then starts to babble desperately about how she thought that Tina being "overweight" could be a good thing, because (a) it would mean that Tina was eating to cover her pain and was thus still in love with Bette, and (b) it might make it harder for Tina to find someone else. Ouch.

Just to disprove all of that, Tina and Helena arrive. Bette orders a double. And the time is ripe for a smackdown:

Kit: "Hey, baby sis. What's up?"
Bette: [stares at Tina and Helena]
Kit: "Who dat?"
Bette: "That's Helena Peabody. I can't believe she brought her here."
Kit: "You want me to ask her to leave?"

No, Kit, I want you to drag her by the hair and kick her skinny British ass to the curb. Sorry, kerb.

Instead, Tina introduces Helena to Dana and Tonya. (There are too many na-na-nas in that sentence.) Helena has brought gifts, which she says are "from me and Tina." Bette has been watching the whole thing and downing her drink, and as she strolls over to confront the new couple, Kit says "Mmm hmm. Here we go."

Helena shakes Bette's hand and gives her an air kiss. She tries to pull back, but Bette doesn't exactly let go of her hand. Bette says the gifts are very generous.

Helena: "I'm afraid I may have overcompensated. You know how it is when you're the uninvited guest."
Bette: "Actually, you know, I've never been the uninvited guest. I always prefer not to go where I'm not wanted."
Tina: "What makes you think Helena's not wanted?"

Ooooh. Dat's cold. Kit, get over there! Bette admits her defeat and walks away.

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