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Afterglow — That chair is seeing a lot of action tonight: Alice and Dana are curled up in it, limbs strategically placed to hide their nakedness. They're kissing, lazily, sweetly, and long, and the voice that's la-la-ing in the background is just as lush and rich. I know that voice: it's Jane Siberry, a Canadian singer-songwriter whom I've long adored and try to honor via a little fan site (although of course all my other Internet efforts have faltered lately, thanks to a ridiculously demanding recap habit I've picked up — damn this show!).

Yo, I still say Leisha has some mad kissing skills. Erin can't quite keep up, but it's okay: we can't all be rock stars.

Everyone's reverie is interrupted as a key turns in the lock. Yep, the Ton-Ton is home. And her parents are with her. Dana and Alice scramble out of the chair.

On the doorstep, Tonya's parents remind her to hide some sort of bear that's apparently supposed to be a special gift for Dana. The whole thing gives Dana and Alice a bit more time, so when Tonya and her mom finally make their entrance, the two lovebirds look like they've been diligently assembling gift bags for hours.

Tonya introduces her mom, who is — I know it seems impossible — even louder and more clueless than Tonya. It all makes sense now: Tonya is from a middle-class, middle America background (or, hmm, perhaps aspiring to reach the middle), and is overcompensating as fast as she can. But Tonya's mom, Dottie, makes me laugh just like Tonya does, and Alice's wide-mouthed crazy-happy "hello" to her is the funniest thing I've seen since the tumble off the couch.

Tonya and her mom scamper off to find a suitable place to display all the gifts they've bought. Dana and Alice take the opportunity to unlock the handcuffs that Alice is still wearing. I could complain about not getting to see that scene, but it's much funnier this way.

Monstrosity — TwiggyJenny has a flash of insight and scrawls the word MONSTROSITY on a sheet of notebook paper. Here we fucking go again. And why is the poltergeist making UFO noises in the background?

So here we are at the carnival again; but this time Jenny looks like... hmm, like an innocent sweet thing, I guess... while everyone else around her has a scary pig-like face. Yes, it's an homage to that classic Twilight Zone episode, The Eye of the Beholder, where the plastic surgery patient looked gorgeous and all the piggy faces around her thought she was horribly disfigured. That episode scared the crap out of me when I was 7, but not as much as this carnival freak scene is scaring me now. Step right up, folks! It's Twiggy and the piggies! For a nickel you get a candy apple and a chat with the most self-involved person in the world!

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