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The Headquarters for Sexual Predation — Helena is talking to some eager soul about good things, but she's distracted by the good eagerness that is Tina. She interrupts the interview she's doing, and saunters over to Tina.

Helena: "When's your baby due?"

Oh, fine. Go ahead, make Helena look more observant than Bette. You'll never make her look sexier.

Tina says she's at 14 weeks. What? I know the camera adds pounds, but that's ridiculous. Helena thinks so too: she says "Are you having twins?!" And that makes me laugh. Savor that, Helena: it's probably the only time you'll be on my good side.

But then Helena says Tina's beautiful and sexy, and talks about her own kids, and reveals that she's separated from her partner. Tina laps it all up, and even though I keep squinting at Helena, I do like to see Tina happy and flattered. Helena invites Tina to dinner, but Tina has a bachelorette party to go to. Right on cue, Tina's co-worker interrupts to say that Bette's there, and she's got flowers.

So Tina goes out to see Bette, and Helena watches Tina go with eyes that look more viper than human.

Tina's not happy to see Bette. Bette says she's "sorry that we fought," which of course is not quite an apology. Still, will you look at that woman? Bette could tell me that she's sorry that I'm not a very good writer and am exceptionally unattractive when I have a cold, and I'd say, "oh, that's okay."

Tina says she's too busy for apologies right now, which annoys Bette, who was really hoping that Tina would offer an apology too.

Tina: "...you can't just throw flowers at it and expect it to go away. Not everything can be on your time, Bette."

Word. No, wait — of course it can. Silly Tina. Actually, Bette honestly looks a bit stunned, as if she hadn't considered that possibility. It's not easy being a goddess.

Helena, in her vipery way, interrupts at this perfectly tense moment.

Bette: "What is going on here? What are you doing?"
Helena: "I'm here to publicize our grant announcements. The Foundation wants to send a message about our new agenda."
Bette: "That's not what I meant. What. Are you doing. With my girlfriend."
Tina: "Bette!"
Helena: "It's really none of my business, but Tina doesn't seem to think she really is your girlfriend any longer."
Bette: "Well, that would be right: it really is none of your business."
Tina: "Bette, stop it!"
Helena: "Tina, I'm sorry. You really shouldn't be dealing with this kind of nonsense. Especially not in your condition."
Bette: "What condition is that?"

Boom! Supposedly the bomb drops. But we don't get to see it, which sucks. Also, if Tina has a brain at all, she's secretly pumping her fist at the fact that Bette is ready to throw down for her like this. And if Helena didn't have a tiny reptile brain, she'd know that tempting Bette's ire is about as smart as interrupting Mama Peggy when she's snogging her boy toy.

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