The Planet — Jenny and Shane walk in holding hands. Why is it so cute? Why am I not annoyed? The poltergeist must be getting to me.

There's my Alice. But what is that shirt she's wearing? And what the hell is she talking about?

Alice: "All right. A fairy godmother comes to visit. She tells you she's going to give you a penis, but you only get it for 24 hours, and then it disappears. What do you do with that penis for 24 hours?"

Wait — I saw this movie. It's called Envy, and it's utter crap, and Netflix used to have it, but they seem to have come to their senses. And I have a very quick answer to this question: I would slap on a condom and head to the gay bathhouse. Just call me Brian Kinney.

Anyway, Shane doesn't quite go there:

Shane: "I would pee standing up on every bush I could find."
Dana: "That's all you would do. You would just... just pee."
Shane: "Yep."
Jenny: "You really wouldn't try to fuck a lot of girls?"
Shane: "I don't need a dick to do that."

Touché.

Tina, who's still wearing a drapey thing to hide her giant belly, wants to know how big her 24-hour penis is. Well, one thing's for sure: it's not as big as your belly. But Alice plays along, and tells Tina to "lean." Alice says she sees "a really big cock down there," which is of course totally the right thing to say to a belly size queen.

Alice: "It's long, it's not too thick, it's not too veiny..."
Dana: "Gross."
Alice: "I, on the other hand, have a giant sausage!"
Jenny: "I think that I probably have a really small penis..."
Kit: [serving coffee, and looking fine in her black tank top] "Girl, you need to work on your self-esteem."

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm laughing.

Jenny explains that she really likes men with small dicks — oh, sorry, Tim — because they work really hard to try to please you. Tina says she's beginning to think that Jenny is definitely a lesbian. Shane says that Carmen certainly thinks so, and they all proceed to tease Jenny, including Kit, who says "Carmen is all that." Yeah, but not like Ivan was, right, Kit? Bring back the drag king!

Meanwhile, Kit says something about waiting for Bette to come back so they can use the massage certificates Alice gave Kit, and Tina clues right into the whole thing, wanting to know where Bette is and why and with whom and how. All she gets is NYC.

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