Back to reality — But then stupid Mark ruins my buzzy feeling by having a heart-to-heart with Jenny about what lesbians are like. He says he would have thought Jenny was straight, because she doesn't have the lesbian hair — and then quickly backpedals and says it's not the hair exactly, but the attitude, or that special something they exude. Jenny doesn't seem to trust him, which is a point in her favor, but she's listening to him anyway, which is a big red flag. He rambles on for a while and says that he can't quite figure out what the lesbian thing is, but he's gonna keep trying to put his finger on it. Keep your filthy fingers away from my lesbian exuding, Mark. Jenny says "Good, tell me when you do," and then slaps him when he looks back toward the pool — but it's a fake slap. I would have put my lesbian fingers in his wandering eyes.

Back at the sad hotel — Bette just looks tired and alone. She fiddles with her wedding ring or commitment ring or whatever it is. The shot is very grey, in light, color, and mood, and it's amazing that all that heat can be so completely replaced with sadness.

I just feel like I need a change — Jenny asks Shane to cut her hair. She makes a big dramatic scene out of it as only she can, and I roll my eyes, because I kinda liked her hair the way it was, and because I am sick of the idea of lesbian rites of passage. Also, if Shane is doing it, it's really a Fraggle rite of passage.

Once again, the Cholodenko light and intimacy are fabulous, but her insight just isn't there. Maybe, just maybe, rotating the writers would be even more useful than playing the guest director game? Wait, who am I kidding? On this show, "writing" means navel-gazing and weird carnival scenes. Just put Bette in a bar every week — I'll take my comfort wherever I can find it.

NEXT WEEK ON THE L WORD: Bette and Helena face off; Tina's condition is revealed; Alice and Dana finally hit it; Mark reaches new lows.

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