Outside The Planet — Jenny and Bette smoke. Jenny says she didn't know Bette was a regular smoker; Bette says she's not; she quit four years ago. Wait. Didn't you tell Candace that you haven't smoked since adolescence, or maybe even before then? The timelines on this show confuse the hell out of me. I'm not too upset, though, because when Bette smokes, I get a contact high.

Bette wants to know why Jenny is being so nice, considering how mean Bette was during the Jenny/Marina thing. Jenny says "I guess ... I know how that feels." I actually want to like you right now, Jenny, but you're still wearing that doily.

It's a jungle in there — Inside, Carmen is spinning a raunchy-sounding song while Tonya and Dana dance. Alice walks by, so of course Tonya grabs her. Alice looks as frightened as she did in her dream, while Tonya dances in front of her and Dana dances around and behind her and, well, very much with her. Dana's dancing is hilarious — look at her do the robot! Tonya announces that she knows why Alice and Dana have been barking at each other — it's because Alice misses her best friend, but it's okay, because "Ton-Ton knows how to share." Tonya starts to boogie on down, which sends Alice over the edge, so she says she has to pee and runs away.

Dana suddenly decides she has to pee too, and tries to follow Alice, but the Ton-Ton isn't having that.

Now you're just asking for it — While Bette is at The Planet, Tina goes to the house to get some clothes. And to hug Bette's pillow and read Bette's e-mail. Oh, Tina Tina Tina. Yes, there's an e-mail from Candace (and a couple from Marina, which is funny). The e-mail from Candace just says "I miss you." But there's a picture attached. Do not click it, Tina! Fight the urge to click!

She clicks. It's a picture of Candace and Bette in bed together. It's not exactly the best photo — it almost looks like a stalker trophy, because Candace is smiling and Bette is asleep, but anyway, the damage is done. Tina, Tina, Tina.

Not what the girlies want — At The Planet, Betty sings. I yawn. The lead singer keeps making eyes at Shane and finally goes and gets her and drags her onto the stage. They do a little simulated sex show, and I'm still kind of yawning. Carmen, meanwhile, is not enjoying it either.

Elsewhere, Bette tells Kit how proud she is of her sister. Aww. And then Betty asks Kit to sing with them, which is so much better, because Pam Grier can actually sing. What a relief — some kind of wonderful, indeed.

While Kit sings, Carmen gives Jenny a quick kiss, just in time for Shane to see it and feel rejected. You're a FOOL, Shane!

Too much grief — Bette goes home, sees that the bedroom looks different, sees the photo on her laptop, sees that Tina's clothes are gone, and walks right out into the pool to float face-down in her misery.

NEXT WEEK ON THE L WORD: Joyce makes her move; Bette and Helena gab; Alice and Dana stare each other down; Jenny and Shane get a new rommate.

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