Indeed better — Charlotte Birch is welcoming her class to the "defining moment of their existence[s]." Jenny is there, and looks like she's expecting Charlotte to kick her out, but instead Charlotte tells Jenny to sign in. Jenny gets her submission back, and it says "Indeed better." Really? 'Cause it looks like she didn't put any line spacing between the paragraphs, nor indent them, so I would give her an F. I have other reasons too. Many.

Bette's bed — Bette is working from home, since she's hungover and feeling like crap. She stares at Tina's pillow, and I think maybe she's wearing Tina's PJs. Waaah!

The diseased guest house — Alice is there to pick up Tina so they can go to the re-opening of The Planet. Tina says she can't go because she's working on a grant proposal. Huh, imagine that: Bette was working on a grant proposal too, and I'm sure there's only one possible grant to apply for, because otherwise it would just be too realistic.

Alice freaks out a little and says she can't handle this breakup stuff anymore, because Bette is smoking and drinking herself to death, and:

Alice: "And you're... I'm gonna say it, Tina. You're eating your pain."

There is no way I can explain how funny she is as she says this stuff. Absolutely perfect timing!

Tina interrupts to say that no, she's not fat, and then shows Alice her belly. Look at the size of that thing!! It makes Alice cry. Well, not the size of it, but the fact of it.

The Planet grand re-opening — Jenny is wearing a doily. Jenny tells Shane that she reminds her of guys she used to date in high school. Ha! But at least Shane isn't wearing a doily. Or maybe several of them stitched together. Whatever it is, I have the urge to mop up my drink with it.

Alice shows up and finds Shane, and wants to tell her something she's not supposed to tell her, but Shane says, "Fight the urge." I think maybe that particular urge is even harder for Alice to resist than the Dana-in-the-vicinity-of-a-bed thing.

Shane tells Alice to turn around and see what fell out of the lesbian phone tree: Betty. Oh, great. Alice says "Betty rules," proving that she hasn't heard the theme song. One of the members of Betty — yeah, I could look up her name, but I'm not gonna — gives Shane an "I want you" sort of look. Here we go again.

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