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Toxicity Central — Dana and Tonya are getting ready; Dana's parents are coming over, and Dana and Tonya are going to ask for their blessing. Tonya is so... condescending, irritating, and (bonus) downright frightening:

Tonya: "I need you to go get ready. I need you to wear your hair in a ponytail, and let me take care of everything else. Okay?"
Dana: "Okay."

It is very very fucking very not okay. Pure toxic sludge!

Speaking of control freaks — There's a knock on Alice's door. It's Bette, and she's not too happy about Alice's part in the lacerating lawyer thing. Oh, hey, look: there's the six degrees of lesbian separation wall, and there's Candace's name in big bold letters. Bette should freak about that, but I'm not sure she even sees it, because she's so busy snarling:

Alice: "I just suggested she see a lawyer."
Bette: "Fuck you."
Alice: "Fuck me?"
Bette: "Yeah, fuck you."

Simmer down! You can both fuck me anytime you want to!

Bette says she thought Alice was her friend, and Alice says she still is, but Bette can be a little cruel — "I've been there, I remember." What? Bette, you were cruel to Alice? Okay, that's it: I'm done with you. But Bette doesn't care; she insists that she did them both a favor when she dumped Alice after six weeks. Anyway, Alice is really just worried about Tina, which sets Bette off:

Bette: "Well, I'll tell you what, my 'friend,' you can judge me all you want to. You can make me into a pariah; I fucking deserve it. But don't you dare interfere with my life like that. Okay? Don't cross that line again."

Brrrrr. I paused my DVR at one point during that speech, and the snarl on Bette's face ate right through my TV screen.

Alice seems truly sorry, and sad, and I think she needs me to stop by to give her a hug and clean up all of Tina's shit that's strewn all over the apartment.

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