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Rules of Un-attraction — Alice and Dana jog — well, Dana jogs while Alice walks — what are those boots she's wearing? They talk about their attraction to each other. Dana keeps saying things and then running away, and then running back. They're so cute together. But they decide they can't act on the attraction, which means not being alone together, especially where there's a bed or a couch or a table or a floor or...

Alice: "Or the back seat of a car."
Dana: "Oooh, that'd be good. That wouldn't be good!"

Cute cute cute. They agree that Dana can't show up all sweaty with her veins popping out, and that Alice can't wear those shirts that cling to her in some places and fall off her in others. You two are so screwed!

Alice kinda smirks, so Dana says "Fuck you" and runs away again. Can I say "cute" once more?

Vaporized — Jenny is saying goodbye to Tim and using the word "evanesce." Shut up shut up shut up!

Bette's house — You didn't really think Bette would be out of the house like Alice asked her to, did you? Of course not. She's there to tell Tina that she can't accept that it's over, and that she wants to fix everything, and other stuff. Tina just says "I hope you had fun blowing off some steam with the carpenter" and walks out. Ouchy.

Milk — Shane walks in. Everybody watches her. Carmen is there, and waves. But Shane has her eye on someone else, although nobody could possibly really want to make out with the frightening woman she goes over to. Carmen doesn't get it either, so she confronts Shane, with that dazzling smile of hers. Shane just plays her cool and detached card, or whatever, so Carmen goes away, but Shane watches her go — a little too long.

One last nightmare — Tim surveys his empty house (did his arms double in bulk between seasons, by the way?) and then decides he wants to fuck Jenny once more. Jenny doesn't really resist, and even tries to play along, but then Tim changes his mind and leaves. I evanesce.

Tea for one — Bette burns herself on the handle of the tea kettle. She's never made tea for herself before? Or she's just so out of her mind over Tina, she forgot that hot water is hot? Either way, it's not good. She goes and stares out the window, and sees Jenny across the way. They're both lonely and sad. Aren't you "glad" this show is back? Yeah, me too.

NEXT WEEK ON THE L WORD: Alice and Bette fight; Tina gets a lawyer; Dana and Alice find it hard to resist each other; Robin sees through Jenny; a "shocking" secret is revealed.